I just read a piece of literary pornography for class. Then I checked my school email to find that someone else was sexually assaulted in a residence hall last Monday. "The only person responsible for sexual misconduct is the perpetrator," these emails say. I have it memorized.
Last time I was assigned erotica, I just didn't show up to class. I knew that the issue would come again--I'm in the Creative Writing program of the University of Iowa, for crying out loud. And I knew that I wouldn't be able to just not show up every time it did.
My teacher gave us a "trigger warning" in class last week. She warned us that it would be "heavy stuff." It wasn't heavy, really. It was actually excruciatingly shallow, but that's a problem for another post. "If there's a problem, please feel free to talk to me, and we can work something out." What, an alternate reading like my mom would ask my high school for? Then what am I supposed to do for the class discussion? Maybe I do just need to have the guts to walk up to a teacher and say, "I'm not going to read this." At least then I wouldn't have to read this stuff.
I don't just want out of the reading anyway though, because me getting out of the reading doesn't solve the problem. The problem is that every student on campus is assigned stuff like this.
Maybe I could go to the teacher or the dean or the whoever else in the department, offended and indignant, but I honestly don't think I'd be the only one, and I honestly think that my voice would be muffled.
Sexual assaults happen because we live in a sexual culture. We idolize sex, we dwell on sex, we fantasize about sex, we glorify pornography as expressive artwork while we push the realm of creativity to the breaking point until we're a bunch of jaded philosophers who believe in nothing but meaninglessness. And then we sacrifice our morality on the alter of academic respect.
Do you know why sexual assaults are out of control in your dorm rooms, University of Iowa? Do you really want to know what you can do to help?
You can stop assigning your students subject material that forces them to spend so much time and intellect on sex.
There's all of this feminism floating around campus, but it's self-defeating. Feminists run around trying to "empower women," but no one is teaching all these guys on campus how to be men, they're just assigning erotic readings as if these poor guys need more sexual content to wallow in and never teach them a word about self-control.
If you really want to respect and empower my gender, quit pointing at sex every time a female shows up.
If you really want to stop sexual assaults in your dorm rooms, quit teaching your students how to do it in the classrooms.
And writers: we have a power to make people think differently. Every piece you write that tells your audience that there is no meaning, that the closest you will ever come to meaning is through drugs and sex, you are abusing and wasting that power, and I am ashamed to be one of you.
Help me show the world that we can be more than that... and then maybe the world can be, too.
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
Thoughts on Profanity
Just in case anyone's new to this blog (and because I really like saying it anyway): I'm studying Creative Writing at the University of Iowa. We're talking top creative writing program in the nation if not world. We're talking every time I said I wanted to major in Creative Writing, everyone said "Oh, so you're going to the University of Iowa?" We're talking the best of the best as far as education and Creative Writing can journey together.
But now that I'm here, I've noticed something incredibly disappointing that totally breaks the heart of this wanna-be wordsmith. All of these people who are supposed to be so great with their words are completely incapable of making any point without the use of profanity.
Seriously, if you're a master of the English language, why is your most commonly used word the f-bomb?
(Side-note: 99% of the f-bomb instances that I hear are not even physically possible. Do these highly educated people even know what the word means?)
Another disappointment I've had here (though not quite as strong as the previous and may be recanted with further experience in the program) is that undergrad Creative Writing classes appear to consist of sitting in a circle talking about writing with fellow undergrads and TAs (Teaching Assistants... Grad students, as in don't even have their masters yet). Discussions, not lectures. The idea is that the learning is done through "exploring ideas with your peers" and silly higher-education rubbish like that. I had a TA last semester who, when a grammar question came up, said "I'm actually terrible at grammar." Then why in the world am I paying a grand to take this class?! I can talk about what makes stories good or bad with any of my friends educated or not who read, for Pete's sake! I came here so that this awesome program could give me the tools (grammar being at the top of my list) to better use my craft, not to sit around saying "How do you feel about that?"
Ahem. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, learning by talking about ideas. So anyway, with this method, it seems that the point isn't to teach so much as to develop and learn to express my own methods and beliefs about how I handle writing.
It is with the support of these two disappointments that I bring you today's blog: How I feel about profanity, particularly in writing.
I know, that was a long introduction. Thanks for bearing with me!
But now that I'm here, I've noticed something incredibly disappointing that totally breaks the heart of this wanna-be wordsmith. All of these people who are supposed to be so great with their words are completely incapable of making any point without the use of profanity.
Seriously, if you're a master of the English language, why is your most commonly used word the f-bomb?
(Side-note: 99% of the f-bomb instances that I hear are not even physically possible. Do these highly educated people even know what the word means?)
Another disappointment I've had here (though not quite as strong as the previous and may be recanted with further experience in the program) is that undergrad Creative Writing classes appear to consist of sitting in a circle talking about writing with fellow undergrads and TAs (Teaching Assistants... Grad students, as in don't even have their masters yet). Discussions, not lectures. The idea is that the learning is done through "exploring ideas with your peers" and silly higher-education rubbish like that. I had a TA last semester who, when a grammar question came up, said "I'm actually terrible at grammar." Then why in the world am I paying a grand to take this class?! I can talk about what makes stories good or bad with any of my friends educated or not who read, for Pete's sake! I came here so that this awesome program could give me the tools (grammar being at the top of my list) to better use my craft, not to sit around saying "How do you feel about that?"
Ahem. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, learning by talking about ideas. So anyway, with this method, it seems that the point isn't to teach so much as to develop and learn to express my own methods and beliefs about how I handle writing.
It is with the support of these two disappointments that I bring you today's blog: How I feel about profanity, particularly in writing.
I know, that was a long introduction. Thanks for bearing with me!
To start with, I do not curse. I have said the D-word twice in my life. When I'm singing a song with a curse word in it, I change the word. I have many reasons for this. It is not effective communication. I believe that there are far better ways to use the English language. The more you hear cuss words, the more likely you are to repeat them (I said both of my D-words "on accident" around the time I broke up with my ex who had no problem with curse words), and so I don't want my speech to be having that effect on those around me. And cursing is actually highly addictive. I have been told by people who have both cursed and smoked that it was easier to stop smoking than it was to start cursing.
But then I arrive at the question: How do I handle profanity in writing?
My first answer is "Don't do it." It's bad enough to hear profanity, I don't want to make my readers see it. I don't want to contribute to that vocabulary being visually ingrained in their minds. And not only my readers' minds, I don't want to entertain that vocabulary in my own head. Besides, how many words are in the English language? I say again: if you're a scholar of English, you have an almost infinite pool of words and phrases to make your point, why is the f-bomb your favorite word? THAT YOU DON'T EVEN USE CORRECTLY?!
Ahem. Sorry.
I wrote a story for another class last semester that took place in a prison in a fictitious world. One of the biggest things my workshop knocked it for was its lack of profanity. They argued that prisoners would use profanity, a lot of it, in their dialogue. I disagree with that particular workshop, a) because it took place in a fictitious world, and b) because mine was the only story all semester long (in both writing classes actually) that did not contain profanity, so their "expertise" on the tasteful use of curse words loses a lot of credibility for me.
But it does present a conundrum: Is there such a thing as "tasteful use" of profanity? Is it okay to write a character who curses in his or her dialogue? If a bad word is used in the correct context to give it its proper meaning, is it okay to say it? (For example, the f-bomb in this absolutely epic slam poem.)
I still tend to lean towards "no," mostly for the reason that I don't want that addictive vocabulary in my own mind, and I don't want to shove it in my readers' faces. This stand does limit some dialogue when I'm writing a character who would curse, but I can say "He cursed," or I can write an innocent character's reaction to his vocabulary. I can use syntax to create some of the shock value that I can't get by not cursing. And besides, a lot of my work is either faith-based (no cussing necessary there) or fantasy (cussing would be inconsistent with the world anyway). So this attitude toward profanity serves me pretty well. And besides my own writing, this stand also allows me to look at profanity in someone else's work without automatically scribbling it out or dismissing the entire piece because it has bad words and therefore must be a bad story or poem.
I still tend to lean towards "no," mostly for the reason that I don't want that addictive vocabulary in my own mind, and I don't want to shove it in my readers' faces. This stand does limit some dialogue when I'm writing a character who would curse, but I can say "He cursed," or I can write an innocent character's reaction to his vocabulary. I can use syntax to create some of the shock value that I can't get by not cursing. And besides, a lot of my work is either faith-based (no cussing necessary there) or fantasy (cussing would be inconsistent with the world anyway). So this attitude toward profanity serves me pretty well. And besides my own writing, this stand also allows me to look at profanity in someone else's work without automatically scribbling it out or dismissing the entire piece because it has bad words and therefore must be a bad story or poem.
The down side of my attitude toward profanity: It's going to take me 3-4 more years to finish my degree here, with all of these Creative Writers whose favorite thing to do is fling about the f-bomb inappropriately. This plants me very firmly in a minority of what could very possibly be one person in the entire Creative Writing department of the University of Iowa.
It's going to be a long 3-4 years.
While we're becoming better, smarter people by exchanging ideas instead of giving this poor, deprived, quazai-student the lectures she so deeply craves, what do you think about profanity in writing?
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Just Keep Swimming
I must begin this blog post with this image, because a) it's fitting, and b) Dory is awesome!
Now, back to the blog post!
I recently (okay, it's been a little over a month ago) went on a camping trip with my family and church family back home. We were swimming in the lake and there was this buoy waaaaaay out in the lake. I have no idea how far it was, but it was pretty far! Not to mention I'm totally not a very good swimmer anyway. I mean, I can tread water 'til the cows come home, but stuff like special strokes and swimming fast and that kind of thing? Beyond me!
My little brother spent some time on a swim team, and he decided that he was going to see if he could swim all the way out to the buoy and back. When he started this endeavor, he passed my mom and I. She kind of did this little half-hearted following thing, torn between letting him explore his abilities and not wanting him to go that far and drown because he was too tired to swim back, and I stayed with her because, hey, I wanted to hang out with my mommy! Well, at some undisclosed point in time, we ended up following him. All the way to the buoy.
On the way back, both of them had to stop once or twice and just float for a minute, but I just kept going--not because I was trying to beat them or anything, but because I was afraid of not making progress. Being that far away from where your feet can touch the ground, especially as an inexperienced swimmer, is kinda risky, so I wanted to keep moving and get back as soon as I could.
But when I made it back, I was almost sad it was over! I had proven to myself that I could do something I doubted my abilities in, and that intense swim was actually strangely mentally relaxing. Besides, getting out of the water was stinkin' cold! So when my sister-in-law and a church friend decided they wanted to try, I decided to go with them too! So ultimately, I made this crazy swim that I wasn't positive I was capable of twice!
When I got back and after I'd gotten out and relaxed a little, I was seriously considering doing it a third time, but my Dad and the other friend talked me out of it. When it was time to climb on the motorcycle later, I was glad they did! But even though I was pretty sore and really tired, I honestly think I could have made it a third time if I had to, because there was a point in that swim where you understand that if you give up, if you decide you're just too tired and stop swimming, you drown and you die. Sure, you can float for a while if you need to, but roll with me for a second:
That swim is a lot like how this semester is going over.
This week is a pretty good week (as demonstrated by the fact that I can stop long enough to write this blog post), but there are two or three nights most weeks where sleep doesn't really happen in excess of three hours. I'm always doing homework (ALWAYS!), every moment of my life is ear-marked for something. When I was in high school, a friend and I used to laugh at how crazy our lives were during finals week because we had our lives planned out down to what we were going to study every hour of every day, but it's not so funny now that that's seriously how my life works all the time at the moment! I got off work 45 minutes early the other day by surprise, and I almost didn't know what to do with myself! I could have found somewhere to get some extra studying done, but instead I decided to go ahead and stop my my apartment (in the middle of the day?!?!?!) and actually be a girl and do stuff like doing my hair and *gasp* putting on make-up! Craziness!
But it's do or die, and without having done this semester, I would never know whether or not I can do this.
And there's that crazy part of my mind that's saying, "Let's do it again next semester!"
I'll probably be able to talk myself out of this one. This is the first time since moving that I've actually looked forward to a break in the school year! But at the same time, this degree is taking me a very long time, and dropping back down to one class in the bigger picture almost reminds me of stopping to float in the lake.
I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it though. Right now, I have homework to do!
Just keep swimming!
Now, back to the blog post!
I recently (okay, it's been a little over a month ago) went on a camping trip with my family and church family back home. We were swimming in the lake and there was this buoy waaaaaay out in the lake. I have no idea how far it was, but it was pretty far! Not to mention I'm totally not a very good swimmer anyway. I mean, I can tread water 'til the cows come home, but stuff like special strokes and swimming fast and that kind of thing? Beyond me!
My little brother spent some time on a swim team, and he decided that he was going to see if he could swim all the way out to the buoy and back. When he started this endeavor, he passed my mom and I. She kind of did this little half-hearted following thing, torn between letting him explore his abilities and not wanting him to go that far and drown because he was too tired to swim back, and I stayed with her because, hey, I wanted to hang out with my mommy! Well, at some undisclosed point in time, we ended up following him. All the way to the buoy.
On the way back, both of them had to stop once or twice and just float for a minute, but I just kept going--not because I was trying to beat them or anything, but because I was afraid of not making progress. Being that far away from where your feet can touch the ground, especially as an inexperienced swimmer, is kinda risky, so I wanted to keep moving and get back as soon as I could.
But when I made it back, I was almost sad it was over! I had proven to myself that I could do something I doubted my abilities in, and that intense swim was actually strangely mentally relaxing. Besides, getting out of the water was stinkin' cold! So when my sister-in-law and a church friend decided they wanted to try, I decided to go with them too! So ultimately, I made this crazy swim that I wasn't positive I was capable of twice!
When I got back and after I'd gotten out and relaxed a little, I was seriously considering doing it a third time, but my Dad and the other friend talked me out of it. When it was time to climb on the motorcycle later, I was glad they did! But even though I was pretty sore and really tired, I honestly think I could have made it a third time if I had to, because there was a point in that swim where you understand that if you give up, if you decide you're just too tired and stop swimming, you drown and you die. Sure, you can float for a while if you need to, but roll with me for a second:
That swim is a lot like how this semester is going over.
This week is a pretty good week (as demonstrated by the fact that I can stop long enough to write this blog post), but there are two or three nights most weeks where sleep doesn't really happen in excess of three hours. I'm always doing homework (ALWAYS!), every moment of my life is ear-marked for something. When I was in high school, a friend and I used to laugh at how crazy our lives were during finals week because we had our lives planned out down to what we were going to study every hour of every day, but it's not so funny now that that's seriously how my life works all the time at the moment! I got off work 45 minutes early the other day by surprise, and I almost didn't know what to do with myself! I could have found somewhere to get some extra studying done, but instead I decided to go ahead and stop my my apartment (in the middle of the day?!?!?!) and actually be a girl and do stuff like doing my hair and *gasp* putting on make-up! Craziness!
But it's do or die, and without having done this semester, I would never know whether or not I can do this.
And there's that crazy part of my mind that's saying, "Let's do it again next semester!"
I'll probably be able to talk myself out of this one. This is the first time since moving that I've actually looked forward to a break in the school year! But at the same time, this degree is taking me a very long time, and dropping back down to one class in the bigger picture almost reminds me of stopping to float in the lake.
I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it though. Right now, I have homework to do!
Just keep swimming!
Saturday, August 31, 2013
The Semester from the Underworld
I have a confession to make: I am petrified of this semester!
I "took" a course over the summer. The theory was that it would give me something to do to make the dark abyss of summer break a little easier to deal with, since I really struggle during breaks. In doing so, the thought was that I could knock out the one Gen Ed requirement that my Metro degree lacked. A win-win situation, right?
The only option I had to meet both of these goals was an online class (strike 1) entitled "Women in Islam in the Middle East" (strike 2), consisting of a slew of reading that, whenever I eventually motivated myself to do it, made me ridiculously angry at the injustice towards Islamic women and I'm not even a feminist! (Strike 3. I'm out.) The course was so packed and intensive that it came with the option of taking a grade of incomplete and using another semester to finish it. After my laptop finally died from an injury sustained in my October car crash and I was without computer access for a week and lost all hope of ever catching up to make the summer deadline, I went ahead and gave up and took the alternative route.
This was after I made the decision to go ahead and see if I could handle 2 classes at the same time while working full time.
Meaning I suddenly find myself juggling three classes while working full time.
With this week having been the first week of class, I have already started off on the wrong foot. There was some hard-core crazy drama that went down this week that is now resolved, but was incredibly stressful, and me being "assertive" really feels more like being a jerk. Then there was meeting half a jazillion new people which happens at the beginning of any new school year. I had to talk in front of both of my new classes. I'm still dealing with the bank to replace my debit card from when my wallet was stolen two weeks ago. I got a call from Biolife saying that my protein test came back low and I have to go in to be retested and can't donate for at least two weeks. There are some changes going down at my campus ministry that are great and wonderful and awesome changes, but are also kind of scary for this introvert whose comfort zone has already been obliterated in every other aspect of her life this week.
And then I have come to the conclusion that undergraduate creative writing students apparently don't actually write, they talk about writing. Seriously, I've been waiting to take writing classes so I can write and get feedback on my writing and let my writing speak for me and all that jazz. I've been waiting to experience workshops for literally years! Now that I'm finally here though, both of my professors are being super gentle about it. "I know it can be really scary, but I promise this will be a safe and respectful place to share your work. You won't be graded on the quality of your writing, so long as you put forth good effort." So I'm in college for creative writing, and my writing won't be taken any more seriously than it did in high school. Sweet. Then it turns out, I'm only going to be workshopped a total of three times this semester...
But will be up to my ears in class discussions.
This is not what I had in mind.
It's Labor Day weekend now, and I am currently taking 24 hours to stay home and recover from the beating my poor, introverted self has taken the last two weeks. This also includes organizing my life and trying to remember how to juggle more than one class at a time... I haven't done that in two years! When these 24 hours are up and my life is organized, I will go to the grocery store... And then probably return for some more recovery time. Basically, I am going to have a lot of respect for my poor, battered comfort zone for a couple of days.
Because on Tuesday, I'll go back to work, I'll have class again on Wednesday, and my comfort zone will once again mean absolutely nothing. Which, you know, I suppose doesn't have to be a bad thing. You don't learn and grow as a person in your comfort zone. God doesn't show up in as huge and amazing ways within the confines of your comfort zone. You can break free of false limits and find your real ones when you leave your comfort zone. It's just that my comfort zone is... You know, comfy!
I know I have lots of prayer warriors who read this blog, and I really don't thank you guys enough for how much you pray for me! I don't directly ask for prayer very often, in part because I know you guys always have me covered anyway :) But this semester, please pray for some rockin' time management skills, that I can juggle everything this semester. Pray for courage as I face all of these challenges that lie outside of the parameters of my typical personality. My original goal for this semester was to get better at connecting with people and making friendships that can bring other people closer to God, and while at the moment that's the last thing I really want to focus on, I know that it's still something God can teach me to do even in the midst of a chaotic semester. And please pray that God shows up in huge and amazing ways this semester, that all of this craziness glorifies Him and brings me closer to Him. The Lord is my refuge and my strength, an ever present help in trouble. Even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Welcome to the Semester from the Underworld.
I "took" a course over the summer. The theory was that it would give me something to do to make the dark abyss of summer break a little easier to deal with, since I really struggle during breaks. In doing so, the thought was that I could knock out the one Gen Ed requirement that my Metro degree lacked. A win-win situation, right?
The only option I had to meet both of these goals was an online class (strike 1) entitled "Women in Islam in the Middle East" (strike 2), consisting of a slew of reading that, whenever I eventually motivated myself to do it, made me ridiculously angry at the injustice towards Islamic women and I'm not even a feminist! (Strike 3. I'm out.) The course was so packed and intensive that it came with the option of taking a grade of incomplete and using another semester to finish it. After my laptop finally died from an injury sustained in my October car crash and I was without computer access for a week and lost all hope of ever catching up to make the summer deadline, I went ahead and gave up and took the alternative route.
This was after I made the decision to go ahead and see if I could handle 2 classes at the same time while working full time.
Meaning I suddenly find myself juggling three classes while working full time.
With this week having been the first week of class, I have already started off on the wrong foot. There was some hard-core crazy drama that went down this week that is now resolved, but was incredibly stressful, and me being "assertive" really feels more like being a jerk. Then there was meeting half a jazillion new people which happens at the beginning of any new school year. I had to talk in front of both of my new classes. I'm still dealing with the bank to replace my debit card from when my wallet was stolen two weeks ago. I got a call from Biolife saying that my protein test came back low and I have to go in to be retested and can't donate for at least two weeks. There are some changes going down at my campus ministry that are great and wonderful and awesome changes, but are also kind of scary for this introvert whose comfort zone has already been obliterated in every other aspect of her life this week.
And then I have come to the conclusion that undergraduate creative writing students apparently don't actually write, they talk about writing. Seriously, I've been waiting to take writing classes so I can write and get feedback on my writing and let my writing speak for me and all that jazz. I've been waiting to experience workshops for literally years! Now that I'm finally here though, both of my professors are being super gentle about it. "I know it can be really scary, but I promise this will be a safe and respectful place to share your work. You won't be graded on the quality of your writing, so long as you put forth good effort." So I'm in college for creative writing, and my writing won't be taken any more seriously than it did in high school. Sweet. Then it turns out, I'm only going to be workshopped a total of three times this semester...
But will be up to my ears in class discussions.
This is not what I had in mind.
It's Labor Day weekend now, and I am currently taking 24 hours to stay home and recover from the beating my poor, introverted self has taken the last two weeks. This also includes organizing my life and trying to remember how to juggle more than one class at a time... I haven't done that in two years! When these 24 hours are up and my life is organized, I will go to the grocery store... And then probably return for some more recovery time. Basically, I am going to have a lot of respect for my poor, battered comfort zone for a couple of days.
Because on Tuesday, I'll go back to work, I'll have class again on Wednesday, and my comfort zone will once again mean absolutely nothing. Which, you know, I suppose doesn't have to be a bad thing. You don't learn and grow as a person in your comfort zone. God doesn't show up in as huge and amazing ways within the confines of your comfort zone. You can break free of false limits and find your real ones when you leave your comfort zone. It's just that my comfort zone is... You know, comfy!
I know I have lots of prayer warriors who read this blog, and I really don't thank you guys enough for how much you pray for me! I don't directly ask for prayer very often, in part because I know you guys always have me covered anyway :) But this semester, please pray for some rockin' time management skills, that I can juggle everything this semester. Pray for courage as I face all of these challenges that lie outside of the parameters of my typical personality. My original goal for this semester was to get better at connecting with people and making friendships that can bring other people closer to God, and while at the moment that's the last thing I really want to focus on, I know that it's still something God can teach me to do even in the midst of a chaotic semester. And please pray that God shows up in huge and amazing ways this semester, that all of this craziness glorifies Him and brings me closer to Him. The Lord is my refuge and my strength, an ever present help in trouble. Even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Welcome to the Semester from the Underworld.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Balancing Act
I'm pretty sure weekends are the key to my life right now.
With working full time, a great deal of one's time, energy, and focus are automatically dedicated to work. However with going to college, one must dedicate a substantial amount of time, energy, and focus to studying and attending class as well. It is for this reason that a promotion opportunity at work has recently passed me by, and though it is a bit of a bummer, I know it's probably a positive thing. After pulling at least one all-nighter for school each week for the past three weeks, I'm not so sure as I could handle more work responsibility on my plate.
At the same time however, I can't go to school full time because I have to work full time. Due to the reality of adults having to pay bills, buy groceries, etc., I can't really cut back on work hours and jump into school as deeply as I'd like. So my weeks are full of a constant tension between work and school, and not being able to invest as fully as I'd like in either endeavor, which is highly irritating.
Meanwhile, I have zero writing time during the week. I have this budding novel that whispers to me almost every single day with its big, puppy-dog eyes, "Please come edit me? I promise I'll behave!" Which any writer knows isn't exactly a trustworthy statement, but the poor thing just sits around all the time! The War of Nostras (tentative title, I know it isn't terribly exciting) has lots of potential, and much of its progress is sitting in my head instead of on its pages, but staying up all night studying for quizzes and writing papers and running back and forth between school and work and using my no-class days to actually sleep, my novel writing just doesn't happen.
So in essence, my life is being pulled in three different directions, and that's without this strange phenomenon of the human species called "sleeping" that's apparently necessary for optimal functioning level as well as simple survival.
Thus, we have "The Weekend," a glorious two days where work does not exist, I get to turn off my alarms, and aside from church on Sunday morning and any plans with friends (Social life? WHAT?! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, kids of all ages, I have one of those! Not as substantial as before this semester, but I do have one!), I have time that doesn't need to be fueled by caffeine to be spent. I have spent most of today editing my manuscript and running diagnostics on its pacing issues, and it's gotten me past a particularly difficult chunk of it. I am now a quarter of the way through this editing pass! (Though I fear that with the volume of completely rewritten scenes that it will require additional editing passes before being sent off to a few Beta readers!) Tomorrow, I intend to spend some quality time with some poetry homework, in an attempt to complete my homework for the week and actually sleep like normal people do!
Next weekend, I shall be going on an adventure to Chicago with one of my best friends from back home, for which I am extremely excited! This will be my first time to Chicago as well as my first time to just go on a road trip for mere kicks and giggles, and I think breaking the monotony of what my life has become (and threatens to be for a very long time) will be amazing! And after this magical, exciting trip, it shall be Spring Break. Most of the time, I struggle with breaks, as they mean less social time and more time alone in the apartment slowly losing my mind, but I think this time around it's going to be okay. I also intend on editing every day through Spring Break, and who knows? Maybe I'll be through an editing pass when it's all said and done!
So this is me: balancing my life in three different directions. Sure, it's driving me a little crazy... er than usual... but I can do all things through Christ! ... And Coffee!
With working full time, a great deal of one's time, energy, and focus are automatically dedicated to work. However with going to college, one must dedicate a substantial amount of time, energy, and focus to studying and attending class as well. It is for this reason that a promotion opportunity at work has recently passed me by, and though it is a bit of a bummer, I know it's probably a positive thing. After pulling at least one all-nighter for school each week for the past three weeks, I'm not so sure as I could handle more work responsibility on my plate.
At the same time however, I can't go to school full time because I have to work full time. Due to the reality of adults having to pay bills, buy groceries, etc., I can't really cut back on work hours and jump into school as deeply as I'd like. So my weeks are full of a constant tension between work and school, and not being able to invest as fully as I'd like in either endeavor, which is highly irritating.
Meanwhile, I have zero writing time during the week. I have this budding novel that whispers to me almost every single day with its big, puppy-dog eyes, "Please come edit me? I promise I'll behave!" Which any writer knows isn't exactly a trustworthy statement, but the poor thing just sits around all the time! The War of Nostras (tentative title, I know it isn't terribly exciting) has lots of potential, and much of its progress is sitting in my head instead of on its pages, but staying up all night studying for quizzes and writing papers and running back and forth between school and work and using my no-class days to actually sleep, my novel writing just doesn't happen.
So in essence, my life is being pulled in three different directions, and that's without this strange phenomenon of the human species called "sleeping" that's apparently necessary for optimal functioning level as well as simple survival.
Thus, we have "The Weekend," a glorious two days where work does not exist, I get to turn off my alarms, and aside from church on Sunday morning and any plans with friends (Social life? WHAT?! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, kids of all ages, I have one of those! Not as substantial as before this semester, but I do have one!), I have time that doesn't need to be fueled by caffeine to be spent. I have spent most of today editing my manuscript and running diagnostics on its pacing issues, and it's gotten me past a particularly difficult chunk of it. I am now a quarter of the way through this editing pass! (Though I fear that with the volume of completely rewritten scenes that it will require additional editing passes before being sent off to a few Beta readers!) Tomorrow, I intend to spend some quality time with some poetry homework, in an attempt to complete my homework for the week and actually sleep like normal people do!
Next weekend, I shall be going on an adventure to Chicago with one of my best friends from back home, for which I am extremely excited! This will be my first time to Chicago as well as my first time to just go on a road trip for mere kicks and giggles, and I think breaking the monotony of what my life has become (and threatens to be for a very long time) will be amazing! And after this magical, exciting trip, it shall be Spring Break. Most of the time, I struggle with breaks, as they mean less social time and more time alone in the apartment slowly losing my mind, but I think this time around it's going to be okay. I also intend on editing every day through Spring Break, and who knows? Maybe I'll be through an editing pass when it's all said and done!
So this is me: balancing my life in three different directions. Sure, it's driving me a little crazy... er than usual... but I can do all things through Christ! ... And Coffee!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
The Insanity of a Non Traditional Student
Today is the dawn of a new semester! Personally, I am avidly celebrating the end of the solitary confinement that comes with breaks in the school year and getting excited for a steady routine, consistent social life, and yes, also homework! I don't have to endure another break until... Well, summer pretty much! I'm looking forward to an entire semester of uninterrupted structure, growth, confidence, and limited alone-time with which to drive myself to complete and unenjoyable insanity. Now I get to enjoy the fun kind of insanity! You know, the kind where you watch The Hobbit in theaters five times and can quote large chunks of it before it's even out on DVD? The kind where you come home from work covered in mashed potatoes and toddler snot and declare it evidence of a successful day? The kind where you pass the time in your car by reciting the Lord of the Rings to yourself? The kind where you have conversations with your cat as though she was your child, including telling her that "we do not bite our friends"? The kind where you sit on the floor and then try to get up only to fall over because you're standing on your own hair?
Okay, maybe you can't relate to THAT kind of insanity... Ahem.
The class this semester is Intro to Poetry, including but not limited to Beat Poetry, being early Slam Poetry, for which I am incredibly pumped! My professor is a soft-speaking Frenchman with a mustache whose demeanor and participation policy suggest him to be a fellow introvert. He's careful to address and acknowledge the thoughts of every student expressed in discussion, and he has a passion for words. As an unnecessary however additional perk, there are also some guys in my class with potential to be cute, pending a preliminary ruling on their character/personality. I'm already in love with this class!
Having been finally granted residency by the University of Iowa earlier this month, I am one step closer to the day that I can take more than one class at a time, which would be wonderful as the rate at which I am currently taking classes will not let me graduate any sooner than a decade from when I started. Returning to life as a full time student isn't quite a visible future for me yet as working full time and studying full time does not a sane person make, and I am trying to avoid college debt as much as possible. But I'm a resident at least. It's a step in the right direction, and the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Another "possibility" with which to speed the acquisition of my Bachelor's degree would be spending a summer studying abroad in Ireland. The more I think about it, the more I want to do it, but yet the more tricky it sounds. The program itself is about $6k (covers the program, a living situation, and a bus pass), then there's air fare, then there's text books, then there's food and spending money, then there's not working for three months, then there's bills back home, and all of this after the hassle of finding a sub-leaser or something for wherever I might be living if this ever happens (and don't talk to me about living situations, that line of thinking still scares me after last year!). The financial end of things alone makes the study-abroad idea for me impossible until 2014 at the soonest, and that's if I take out loans to do it. Not to mention the fact that if you stick me in the middle of Ireland by myself, I might take a wrong turn somewhere and never come back. Literally, I might get lost in the air port and die before I ever make it back to the states! I mean, when Bilbo went on his adventure, he got to follow thirteen dwarves who already knew where they were going. The people affiliated with the Irish Writing Program meet you at the airport in Dublin... I have to make it at least that far by myself! And then there's figuratively of course. (Bilbo: "Can you promise that I will come back?" Gandalf: "No, and if you do, you'll never be the same." Yay, fun kind of insanity!) Besides, I start getting homesick after two or three weekends in a row in Iowa City... A different continent for three months?!
But I really want to do it!
In addition to school and the probably unnecessary worrying over it, I shall be continuing the editing process of my painfully rough draft of my still untitled WIP. This is one of the less-mutilated pages:
Nothing says "progress" like several pages in a row covered in bright X's with the words: "This Entire Page is Obsolete!"
My novel kind of fell by the wayside in the aftermath of my car accident that kind of consumed my life there for a lil' bit, but about half-way through break it came back to serve as a safety line for me. I got caught up and frustrated in the dark, non-enjoyable insanity of winter break until I came to the realization that I was sitting around waiting for my life to happen. I want to be married, have kids, and write books. It's all I've ever wanted. It's STILL all I want. But that doesn't mean that I have to sit here right now going through the motions and letting life become a desert that leaves me parched of passion and excitement. I am Kaycee Lynn Pancake, I'm the ONLY Kaycee Pancake that there ever has been or ever will be! God made me who I am and put me where I am for a purpose, and that purpose wasn't to become someone else before I can start living. So, I started editing my WIP. And maybe, just maybe, this is the novel that I can send out into the world when it's done!
Regardless of the small victory over the dark insanity I experienced over break, I've been terribly torn as of late between looking at the mountain and looking at the ground at my feet. The mountain is taking forever to climb, and the ground at my feet has been looking the same lately with no evidence or promise of forward progress. I know that reaching the peak will be worth it, even if it is just to find the next mountain, but I'm trying to learn how to live the life I have right now. I've spent most of my life thus far existing and surviving just trying to make it to this or that, but what about right now? There's got to be something special, something worth while about who and where I am in this moment, and it always gets lost in the anticipation and fear concerning whatever peak I'm pursuing. What about the present? God gave me this special moment for a reason, and this semester, I'm going to try to find out what it is.
Carpe Diem.
Okay, maybe you can't relate to THAT kind of insanity... Ahem.
Having been finally granted residency by the University of Iowa earlier this month, I am one step closer to the day that I can take more than one class at a time, which would be wonderful as the rate at which I am currently taking classes will not let me graduate any sooner than a decade from when I started. Returning to life as a full time student isn't quite a visible future for me yet as working full time and studying full time does not a sane person make, and I am trying to avoid college debt as much as possible. But I'm a resident at least. It's a step in the right direction, and the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Another "possibility" with which to speed the acquisition of my Bachelor's degree would be spending a summer studying abroad in Ireland. The more I think about it, the more I want to do it, but yet the more tricky it sounds. The program itself is about $6k (covers the program, a living situation, and a bus pass), then there's air fare, then there's text books, then there's food and spending money, then there's not working for three months, then there's bills back home, and all of this after the hassle of finding a sub-leaser or something for wherever I might be living if this ever happens (and don't talk to me about living situations, that line of thinking still scares me after last year!). The financial end of things alone makes the study-abroad idea for me impossible until 2014 at the soonest, and that's if I take out loans to do it. Not to mention the fact that if you stick me in the middle of Ireland by myself, I might take a wrong turn somewhere and never come back. Literally, I might get lost in the air port and die before I ever make it back to the states! I mean, when Bilbo went on his adventure, he got to follow thirteen dwarves who already knew where they were going. The people affiliated with the Irish Writing Program meet you at the airport in Dublin... I have to make it at least that far by myself! And then there's figuratively of course. (Bilbo: "Can you promise that I will come back?" Gandalf: "No, and if you do, you'll never be the same." Yay, fun kind of insanity!) Besides, I start getting homesick after two or three weekends in a row in Iowa City... A different continent for three months?!
But I really want to do it!
In addition to school and the probably unnecessary worrying over it, I shall be continuing the editing process of my painfully rough draft of my still untitled WIP. This is one of the less-mutilated pages:
My novel kind of fell by the wayside in the aftermath of my car accident that kind of consumed my life there for a lil' bit, but about half-way through break it came back to serve as a safety line for me. I got caught up and frustrated in the dark, non-enjoyable insanity of winter break until I came to the realization that I was sitting around waiting for my life to happen. I want to be married, have kids, and write books. It's all I've ever wanted. It's STILL all I want. But that doesn't mean that I have to sit here right now going through the motions and letting life become a desert that leaves me parched of passion and excitement. I am Kaycee Lynn Pancake, I'm the ONLY Kaycee Pancake that there ever has been or ever will be! God made me who I am and put me where I am for a purpose, and that purpose wasn't to become someone else before I can start living. So, I started editing my WIP. And maybe, just maybe, this is the novel that I can send out into the world when it's done!
Regardless of the small victory over the dark insanity I experienced over break, I've been terribly torn as of late between looking at the mountain and looking at the ground at my feet. The mountain is taking forever to climb, and the ground at my feet has been looking the same lately with no evidence or promise of forward progress. I know that reaching the peak will be worth it, even if it is just to find the next mountain, but I'm trying to learn how to live the life I have right now. I've spent most of my life thus far existing and surviving just trying to make it to this or that, but what about right now? There's got to be something special, something worth while about who and where I am in this moment, and it always gets lost in the anticipation and fear concerning whatever peak I'm pursuing. What about the present? God gave me this special moment for a reason, and this semester, I'm going to try to find out what it is.
Carpe Diem.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Best "Back to School" EVER!
I went to my very first class since May 2011 on Monday. I was half an hour early and I donated SEVERAL quarters to Iowa City because I hadn't quite figured out parking and decided I'd rather be safe than sorry on my very first day of school.
I went to the Campus Christian Fellowship office after class for a kick-off-the-year pizza party (also pretty early). I walked into the room, dropped my backpack, and announced to the five or six people there: "I HAVE HOMEWORK!!!"
To which the popular reply has been: "Kaycee, you're sick!"
I've spent the past year trying to read and research things just to keep my brain working, to keep learning things. I've been creating my own studies to keep my mind engaged and remember how to be a student. It's been like a stray dog digging through the garbage for food--and hey, to the dog, half of a week-old cheeseburger is delicious!
But then I walked into lecture on Wednesday afternoon, and this woman (albeit a tad eccentric, and by all appearances not necessarily in tune with the real world outside of academia) stood at the podium, clicking through slide after slide of a power point, setting plate after plate of knowledge before this starving student. I was handed three pages of notes in less than an hour! College students have this nasty habit of packing up their bags before the professor is done talking so they can skedaddle just as fast as they can once class is over, but I was sad when the intellectual meal was over!
I walked into CCF after that class, and one of my dear friends there said, "Oh, she has that after-lecture glow!" I did. It was almost like being in love again!
It's been a pretty crazy and slightly overwhelming week, though. I spent all summer long getting barely 30 hours a week at work and wondering what in the world to do with my life, and now that school has started I'm suddenly getting 40 hours a week, we transitioned several kiddos into our room for the first time (which is always a bit of a challenge!), and now I have homework, CCF and Salt Company are kicking up for the year, I'm still working on how to fit two plasma donations into my week (keeping in mind that I can't have caffeine on plasma days!), and poor lil' miss Gracie Lynn is wondering where in the world her mommy disappears to all day every day. She wasn't speaking to me the last couple of days until I finally snuggled in for a nap with her after a CCF camping trip this morning.
People do crazy things to pursue their dreams.
During the discussion section of the class I am taking, we did introductions: what's your interest in English, what year are you, and one interesting thing about you. How in the world do I answer those questions in under five minutes? I stumbled through my answer, trying to quickly summarize my explanation of how I'm a junior but yet this is my first class in Iowa while still maintaining my dignity as a 21 year old who should be a senior now. I told my class that this was the only class I was taking this semester because I'm working full-time while I was at it, and there were a couple of muffled "wow"s around the room. I almost laughed. You don't know the half of it!
Meanwhile, as I'm acquiring a taste for cheap coffee and cramming study sessions at a short table in the school age room during lunch breaks, I'm still working on resident status. I had a tough time getting a hold of my tax returns for some reason, but finally succeeded! Now I just need to get my parents' tax returns. And a notarized statement saying that I intend to claim myself as an independent in the years to come. And a notarized statement from my parents saying they do not intend to claim me in the years to come. And "proof of employment," whatever in the world THAT'S supposed to mean. My boss suggested a pay stub, I sure hope that does it!
I'm in this for the long haul. I don't really know how long this is going to take me. I'd like to try for two classes next semester, but I'm not sure how feasible it will be both finantically-speaking as well as time-wise. Until then though, I shall enjoy with all my heart my long-awaited return to academia!
I went to the Campus Christian Fellowship office after class for a kick-off-the-year pizza party (also pretty early). I walked into the room, dropped my backpack, and announced to the five or six people there: "I HAVE HOMEWORK!!!"
To which the popular reply has been: "Kaycee, you're sick!"
I've spent the past year trying to read and research things just to keep my brain working, to keep learning things. I've been creating my own studies to keep my mind engaged and remember how to be a student. It's been like a stray dog digging through the garbage for food--and hey, to the dog, half of a week-old cheeseburger is delicious!
But then I walked into lecture on Wednesday afternoon, and this woman (albeit a tad eccentric, and by all appearances not necessarily in tune with the real world outside of academia) stood at the podium, clicking through slide after slide of a power point, setting plate after plate of knowledge before this starving student. I was handed three pages of notes in less than an hour! College students have this nasty habit of packing up their bags before the professor is done talking so they can skedaddle just as fast as they can once class is over, but I was sad when the intellectual meal was over!
I walked into CCF after that class, and one of my dear friends there said, "Oh, she has that after-lecture glow!" I did. It was almost like being in love again!
It's been a pretty crazy and slightly overwhelming week, though. I spent all summer long getting barely 30 hours a week at work and wondering what in the world to do with my life, and now that school has started I'm suddenly getting 40 hours a week, we transitioned several kiddos into our room for the first time (which is always a bit of a challenge!), and now I have homework, CCF and Salt Company are kicking up for the year, I'm still working on how to fit two plasma donations into my week (keeping in mind that I can't have caffeine on plasma days!), and poor lil' miss Gracie Lynn is wondering where in the world her mommy disappears to all day every day. She wasn't speaking to me the last couple of days until I finally snuggled in for a nap with her after a CCF camping trip this morning.
People do crazy things to pursue their dreams.
During the discussion section of the class I am taking, we did introductions: what's your interest in English, what year are you, and one interesting thing about you. How in the world do I answer those questions in under five minutes? I stumbled through my answer, trying to quickly summarize my explanation of how I'm a junior but yet this is my first class in Iowa while still maintaining my dignity as a 21 year old who should be a senior now. I told my class that this was the only class I was taking this semester because I'm working full-time while I was at it, and there were a couple of muffled "wow"s around the room. I almost laughed. You don't know the half of it!
Meanwhile, as I'm acquiring a taste for cheap coffee and cramming study sessions at a short table in the school age room during lunch breaks, I'm still working on resident status. I had a tough time getting a hold of my tax returns for some reason, but finally succeeded! Now I just need to get my parents' tax returns. And a notarized statement saying that I intend to claim myself as an independent in the years to come. And a notarized statement from my parents saying they do not intend to claim me in the years to come. And "proof of employment," whatever in the world THAT'S supposed to mean. My boss suggested a pay stub, I sure hope that does it!
I'm in this for the long haul. I don't really know how long this is going to take me. I'd like to try for two classes next semester, but I'm not sure how feasible it will be both finantically-speaking as well as time-wise. Until then though, I shall enjoy with all my heart my long-awaited return to academia!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Writing, Reading, and Cleaning
This is what I do with my summer! Of course, it took me all summer long to be okay with that.
You see, Iowa City kind of has its way of shutting down in the summer. All of the campus ministries slow down (when they aren't stopped completely), lots of people leave to spend summer at home, on mission trips, studying abroad, etc.; some people leave for good because they've graduated or it's just time to transfer. And besides, I've only been here for a year (almost). That's not quite long enough to make friends you can call up in the middle of the night and say, "Hey, let's go wander around WalMart! It'll be AWESOME!!!"
Parents pull their kids out of daycare for the summer in Iowa City because half of them work for the University, so during the summer they can stay home with their kiddos. Which means there are less hours needed from the employees. Which means I only work 30 hours a week. And then clock out and hang out with the babies and all my kids who turned 2 and moved out of my room, because they're all cute and I have nothing better to do.
So I hang out at work after I get off. I donate plasma to make some extra bank (I'm gonna need it!). I read all the YA stuff that's fun to get sucked into for days at a time. I read poetry that I didn't really have time to sit down and bask in during the year. I read Shakespeare because I want something that will take up a LOT of this empty time that I have.
And I write my painfully rough draft of my WIP. I love the story, I love the world, and I love the characters; the problem is that I've been working on it for several years, and over the course of various life events, I have been several completely different people over the course of the past several years. My main characters always have a tendency to take after all of my issues, so poor Princess Inirae has run the gamut of all of my emotional distress and faced all of my problems with me and has thus sufficiently destroyed the arc of my story. Needless to say, Nostras is in a state of chaos that must be cleaned up. My goal is to pound through a rough draft by the time I go home for Labor Day so I can go to Kinkos and print it out so I can start my editing process.
When I need to get off my butt and do something, I've been cleaning. Because this chicka is going to be starting school a week from Monday! So let's set off on the right foot and have an organized office and a clean apartment to come home to! After all, I am incredibly blessed to be able to stay here another year, bats and cockroaches and all!
I have every intention of my last week of summer being productive, and I'm looking forward to putting this summer behind me!
Quick Update: As most of you know, I applied to the University for resident status. They sent me a letter that said something to the effect of: "We got your application. Now go on another scavenger hunt and spend more hours of your life on this process, send us an even thicker envelope than you did last time, and we'll look it over and let you know what we think." Moral of the story: One step closer, but it kinda feels like two steps back. At least they didn't just say "No,"... I think...
You see, Iowa City kind of has its way of shutting down in the summer. All of the campus ministries slow down (when they aren't stopped completely), lots of people leave to spend summer at home, on mission trips, studying abroad, etc.; some people leave for good because they've graduated or it's just time to transfer. And besides, I've only been here for a year (almost). That's not quite long enough to make friends you can call up in the middle of the night and say, "Hey, let's go wander around WalMart! It'll be AWESOME!!!"
Parents pull their kids out of daycare for the summer in Iowa City because half of them work for the University, so during the summer they can stay home with their kiddos. Which means there are less hours needed from the employees. Which means I only work 30 hours a week. And then clock out and hang out with the babies and all my kids who turned 2 and moved out of my room, because they're all cute and I have nothing better to do.
So I hang out at work after I get off. I donate plasma to make some extra bank (I'm gonna need it!). I read all the YA stuff that's fun to get sucked into for days at a time. I read poetry that I didn't really have time to sit down and bask in during the year. I read Shakespeare because I want something that will take up a LOT of this empty time that I have.
And I write my painfully rough draft of my WIP. I love the story, I love the world, and I love the characters; the problem is that I've been working on it for several years, and over the course of various life events, I have been several completely different people over the course of the past several years. My main characters always have a tendency to take after all of my issues, so poor Princess Inirae has run the gamut of all of my emotional distress and faced all of my problems with me and has thus sufficiently destroyed the arc of my story. Needless to say, Nostras is in a state of chaos that must be cleaned up. My goal is to pound through a rough draft by the time I go home for Labor Day so I can go to Kinkos and print it out so I can start my editing process.
When I need to get off my butt and do something, I've been cleaning. Because this chicka is going to be starting school a week from Monday! So let's set off on the right foot and have an organized office and a clean apartment to come home to! After all, I am incredibly blessed to be able to stay here another year, bats and cockroaches and all!
I have every intention of my last week of summer being productive, and I'm looking forward to putting this summer behind me!
~ * ~
Quick Update: As most of you know, I applied to the University for resident status. They sent me a letter that said something to the effect of: "We got your application. Now go on another scavenger hunt and spend more hours of your life on this process, send us an even thicker envelope than you did last time, and we'll look it over and let you know what we think." Moral of the story: One step closer, but it kinda feels like two steps back. At least they didn't just say "No,"... I think...
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Orientation: Take 2!
At the very beginning of orientation, the same lady as last year gave the same speech as last year in the same room as last year. The student guides introduced themselves the same way as last year, and when we broke off into smaller groups, they explained the same stuff as last year. I suppose there really isn't a problem with repeating the exact same orientation program every year: They don't usually have repeat customers like me. Yes, I was alone this time around instead of bringing my parents with me, but I was otherwise excited this year. This was actually going to work. I knew what I was doing. I had a list of questions written down this time: I was totally prepared to get the answers I needed, I knew what I was looking for, and I was finally going to start school!
Well, I haven't dropped either of the two classes I signed up for yet, so at least that much is going over better than last year.
My advising appointment was in the same room as last year, but with a different person. Apparently I'm missing something when I hear students talk about "my advisor," because so far every single advising experience I have had at both Metro AND Iowa have been with "an advisor," not "my advisor." "An advisor" has access to your records and can tell you what class/credit to plug into the gaps in those records, but absolutely nothing beyond that. Unfortunately, the more time passes, the less traditional of a student I become and the bigger headache these "advising appointments" trigger.
And in all reality, very few of my questions had to do with credits. Yes, she was the first person who has actually been able to explain the creative writing track to me, but when I started asking her about tuition and/or residency, we've got nothin'. She was friendly, and she wanted to be helpful, which was saying a lot given every other advising experience I've ever had, but she didn't have the answers I needed.
She gave me a phone number for the residency department along with her sympathies (she was a grad student who had already fought the resident tuition war at another university), and I was terribly impressed by the fact that a human being answered the phone! She might as well have been a computer though for all the personality and courtesy she had. Moral of her story was I have to apply for resident status, and that doesn't happen until the first few weeks in June. So we have another month of uncertainty there.
I was able to attend an Honors Program orientation session that I didn't last year. It was first thing in the morning, and was therefore encouraging. The first half of orientation is always encouraging: it's the second half that can't seem to end well. He told us about the program, what we could do with it, and most importantly: Where it is located. "Drop in and introduce yourself," he said. "It's these peoples' jobs to help you, that's what they're paid to do," he said. "They are right there for you to take advantage of," he said. And silly little me believed him.
So I did drop in, in search of some kind of access to this plethora of scholarships that allegedly exists within the Honors Program... Somewhere. This person's door was open, and the receptionist told me to go on back. This faculty member herself however seemed pretty irritated that I was bothering her at all, because she was busy "preparing for an event this evening." I asked what her office hours were, and instead of answering me she asked if I could come in between classes.
No, I work full time.
Are you off in the afternoons?
No, I don't get off until about 5:30.
Well, could you come in tomorrow or Friday?
No, I am a FULL TIME WORKER!!! So I said, "That's okay, can I just email you?"
"No, because research shows that it takes an average of about 8 emails to set up an appointment."
"Okay, can I call you on a lunch break?"
"Yes, I don't usually leave my office during lunch, so you can give me a call and we can find a time that works for you to come in."
Okay, seriously lady, I've just told you three times that I work full time, and you've already blown all three of the minutes that you'd probably give me during this appointment anyway because all of you college/university faculty people just want to shove people out of your door as fast as humanly possible anyway. And I am still no closer to scholarships than I was this morning. Or a year ago, for that matter.
If you are currently a high school student, feel free to stop reading here because I am about to burst your bubble. Regardless of what anyone tells you, college is something you have to fight for completely on your own. No one really wants to help you, ever. If anyone ever claims to want to help you, they are blatantly lying to your face. (But that's okay, because most people say that in reference to someone else, and it's easier on their conscience to lie about someone else.)
But that's fine, because you know what? God gave me a bright mind and lots of cool talents, and He's gotten me through an awful lot with just the two of us perfectly fine already. And contrary to what many people connected to this university probably believe: God is bigger than the University of Iowa and all of their departments and rude, clueless people. And once I get past all of this business with tuition and residency, there is an awesome education to be had. So bring it, University of Iowa! You may tick me off beyond belief, but you don't scare me anymore!
I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength!
Well, I haven't dropped either of the two classes I signed up for yet, so at least that much is going over better than last year.
My advising appointment was in the same room as last year, but with a different person. Apparently I'm missing something when I hear students talk about "my advisor," because so far every single advising experience I have had at both Metro AND Iowa have been with "an advisor," not "my advisor." "An advisor" has access to your records and can tell you what class/credit to plug into the gaps in those records, but absolutely nothing beyond that. Unfortunately, the more time passes, the less traditional of a student I become and the bigger headache these "advising appointments" trigger.
And in all reality, very few of my questions had to do with credits. Yes, she was the first person who has actually been able to explain the creative writing track to me, but when I started asking her about tuition and/or residency, we've got nothin'. She was friendly, and she wanted to be helpful, which was saying a lot given every other advising experience I've ever had, but she didn't have the answers I needed.
She gave me a phone number for the residency department along with her sympathies (she was a grad student who had already fought the resident tuition war at another university), and I was terribly impressed by the fact that a human being answered the phone! She might as well have been a computer though for all the personality and courtesy she had. Moral of her story was I have to apply for resident status, and that doesn't happen until the first few weeks in June. So we have another month of uncertainty there.
I was able to attend an Honors Program orientation session that I didn't last year. It was first thing in the morning, and was therefore encouraging. The first half of orientation is always encouraging: it's the second half that can't seem to end well. He told us about the program, what we could do with it, and most importantly: Where it is located. "Drop in and introduce yourself," he said. "It's these peoples' jobs to help you, that's what they're paid to do," he said. "They are right there for you to take advantage of," he said. And silly little me believed him.
So I did drop in, in search of some kind of access to this plethora of scholarships that allegedly exists within the Honors Program... Somewhere. This person's door was open, and the receptionist told me to go on back. This faculty member herself however seemed pretty irritated that I was bothering her at all, because she was busy "preparing for an event this evening." I asked what her office hours were, and instead of answering me she asked if I could come in between classes.
No, I work full time.
Are you off in the afternoons?
No, I don't get off until about 5:30.
Well, could you come in tomorrow or Friday?
No, I am a FULL TIME WORKER!!! So I said, "That's okay, can I just email you?"
"No, because research shows that it takes an average of about 8 emails to set up an appointment."
"Okay, can I call you on a lunch break?"
"Yes, I don't usually leave my office during lunch, so you can give me a call and we can find a time that works for you to come in."
Okay, seriously lady, I've just told you three times that I work full time, and you've already blown all three of the minutes that you'd probably give me during this appointment anyway because all of you college/university faculty people just want to shove people out of your door as fast as humanly possible anyway. And I am still no closer to scholarships than I was this morning. Or a year ago, for that matter.
If you are currently a high school student, feel free to stop reading here because I am about to burst your bubble. Regardless of what anyone tells you, college is something you have to fight for completely on your own. No one really wants to help you, ever. If anyone ever claims to want to help you, they are blatantly lying to your face. (But that's okay, because most people say that in reference to someone else, and it's easier on their conscience to lie about someone else.)
But that's fine, because you know what? God gave me a bright mind and lots of cool talents, and He's gotten me through an awful lot with just the two of us perfectly fine already. And contrary to what many people connected to this university probably believe: God is bigger than the University of Iowa and all of their departments and rude, clueless people. And once I get past all of this business with tuition and residency, there is an awesome education to be had. So bring it, University of Iowa! You may tick me off beyond belief, but you don't scare me anymore!
I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength!
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