Orientation: Take 2!

At the very beginning of orientation, the same lady as last year gave the same speech as last year in the same room as last year.  The student guides introduced themselves the same way as last year, and when we broke off into smaller groups, they explained the same stuff as last year.  I suppose there really isn't a problem with repeating the exact same orientation program every year: They don't usually have repeat customers like me.  Yes, I was alone this time around instead of bringing my parents with me, but I was otherwise excited this year.  This was actually going to work.  I knew what I was doing.  I had a list of questions written down this time: I was totally prepared to get the answers I needed, I knew what I was looking for, and I was finally going to start school!

Well, I haven't dropped either of the two classes I signed up for yet, so at least that much is going over better than last year.

My advising appointment was in the same room as last year, but with a different person.  Apparently I'm missing something when I hear students talk about "my advisor," because so far every single advising experience I have had at both Metro AND Iowa have been with "an advisor," not "my advisor."  "An advisor" has access to your records and can tell you what class/credit to plug into the gaps in those records, but absolutely nothing beyond that.  Unfortunately, the more time passes, the less traditional of a student I become and the bigger headache these "advising appointments" trigger.

And in all reality, very few of my questions had to do with credits.  Yes, she was the first person who has actually been able to explain the creative writing track to me, but when I started asking her about tuition and/or residency, we've got nothin'.  She was friendly, and she wanted to be helpful, which was saying a lot given every other advising experience I've ever had, but she didn't have the answers I needed.

She gave me a phone number for the residency department along with her sympathies (she was a grad student who had already fought the resident tuition war at another university), and I was terribly impressed by the fact that a human being answered the phone!  She might as well have been a computer though for all the personality and courtesy she had.  Moral of her story was I have to apply for resident status, and that doesn't happen until the first few weeks in June.  So we have another month of uncertainty there.

I was able to attend an Honors Program orientation session that I didn't last year.  It was first thing in the morning, and was therefore encouraging.  The first half of orientation is always encouraging: it's the second half that can't seem to end well.  He told us about the program, what we could do with it, and most importantly: Where it is located.  "Drop in and introduce yourself," he said.  "It's these peoples' jobs to help you, that's what they're paid to do," he said.  "They are right there for you to take advantage of," he said.  And silly little me believed him.

So I did drop in, in search of some kind of access to this plethora of scholarships that allegedly exists within the Honors Program... Somewhere.  This person's door was open, and the receptionist told me to go on back.  This faculty member herself however seemed pretty irritated that I was bothering her at all, because she was busy "preparing for an event this evening."  I asked what her office hours were, and instead of answering me she asked if I could come in between classes.
No, I work full time.
Are you off in the afternoons?
No, I don't get off until about 5:30.
Well, could you come in tomorrow or Friday?
No, I am a FULL TIME WORKER!!!  So I said, "That's okay, can I just email you?"
"No, because research shows that it takes an average of about 8 emails to set up an appointment."
"Okay, can I call you on a lunch break?"
"Yes, I don't usually leave my office during lunch, so you can give me a call and we can find a time that works for you to come in."

Okay, seriously lady, I've just told you three times that I work full time, and you've already blown all three of the minutes that you'd probably give me during this appointment anyway because all of you college/university faculty people just want to shove people out of your door as fast as humanly possible anyway.  And I am still no closer to scholarships than I was this morning.  Or a year ago, for that matter.

If you are currently a high school student, feel free to stop reading here because I am about to burst your bubble.  Regardless of what anyone tells you, college is something you have to fight for completely on your own.  No one really wants to help you, ever.  If anyone ever claims to want to help you, they are blatantly lying to your face.  (But that's okay, because most people say that in reference to someone else, and it's easier on their conscience to lie about someone else.)

But that's fine, because you know what?  God gave me a bright mind and lots of cool talents, and He's gotten me through an awful lot with just the two of us perfectly fine already.  And contrary to what many people connected to this university probably believe: God is bigger than the University of Iowa and all of their departments and rude, clueless people.  And once I get past all of this business with tuition and residency, there is an awesome education to be had.  So bring it, University of Iowa!  You may tick me off beyond belief, but you don't scare me anymore!

I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength!