Thoughts on Profanity

Just in case anyone's new to this blog (and because I really like saying it anyway): I'm studying Creative Writing at the University of Iowa.  We're talking top creative writing program in the nation if not world.  We're talking every time I said I wanted to major in Creative Writing, everyone said "Oh, so you're going to the University of Iowa?"  We're talking the best of the best as far as education and Creative Writing can journey together.

But now that I'm here, I've noticed something incredibly disappointing that totally breaks the heart of this wanna-be wordsmith.  All of these people who are supposed to be so great with their words are completely incapable of making any point without the use of profanity.

Seriously, if you're a master of the English language, why is your most commonly used word the f-bomb?

(Side-note: 99% of the f-bomb instances that I hear are not even physically possible.  Do these highly educated people even know what the word means?)

Another disappointment I've had here (though not quite as strong as the previous and may be recanted with further experience in the program) is that undergrad Creative Writing classes appear to consist of sitting in a circle talking about writing with fellow undergrads and TAs (Teaching Assistants... Grad students, as in don't even have their masters yet).  Discussions, not lectures.  The idea is that the learning is done through "exploring ideas with your peers" and silly higher-education rubbish like that.  I had a TA last semester who, when a grammar question came up, said "I'm actually terrible at grammar."  Then why in the world am I paying a grand to take this class?!  I can talk about what makes stories good or bad with any of my friends educated or not who read, for Pete's sake!  I came here so that this awesome program could give me the tools (grammar being at the top of my list) to better use my craft, not to sit around saying "How do you feel about that?"

Ahem.  Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes, learning by talking about ideas.  So anyway, with this method, it seems that the point isn't to teach so much as to develop and learn to express my own methods and beliefs about how I handle writing.

It is with the support of these two disappointments that I bring you today's blog: How I feel about profanity, particularly in writing.

I know, that was a long introduction.  Thanks for bearing with me!

To start with, I do not curse.  I have said the D-word twice in my life.  When I'm singing a song with a curse word in it, I change the word.  I have many reasons for this.  It is not effective communication.  I believe that there are far better ways to use the English language.  The more you hear cuss words, the more likely you are to repeat them (I said both of my D-words "on accident" around the time I broke up with my ex who had no problem with curse words), and so I don't want my speech to be having that effect on those around me.  And cursing is actually highly addictive.  I have been told by people who have both cursed and smoked that it was easier to stop smoking than it was to start cursing.

But then I arrive at the question: How do I handle profanity in writing?

My first answer is "Don't do it."  It's bad enough to hear profanity, I don't want to make my readers see it.  I don't want to contribute to that vocabulary being visually ingrained in their minds.  And not only my readers' minds, I don't want to entertain that vocabulary in my own head.  Besides, how many words are in the English language?  I say again: if you're a scholar of English, you have an almost infinite pool of words and phrases to make your point, why is the f-bomb your favorite word?  THAT YOU DON'T EVEN USE CORRECTLY?!

Ahem.  Sorry.

I wrote a story for another class last semester that took place in a prison in a fictitious world.  One of the biggest things my workshop knocked it for was its lack of profanity.  They argued that prisoners would use profanity, a lot of it, in their dialogue.  I disagree with that particular workshop, a) because it took place in a fictitious world, and b) because mine was the only story all semester long (in both writing classes actually) that did not contain profanity, so their "expertise" on the tasteful use of curse words loses a lot of credibility for me.

But it does present a conundrum: Is there such a thing as "tasteful use" of profanity?  Is it okay to write a character who curses in his or her dialogue?  If a bad word is used in the correct context to give it its proper meaning, is it okay to say it?  (For example, the f-bomb in this absolutely epic slam poem.)

I still tend to lean towards "no," mostly for the reason that I don't want that addictive vocabulary in my own mind, and I don't want to shove it in my readers' faces.  This stand does limit some dialogue when I'm writing a character who would curse, but I can say "He cursed," or I can write an innocent character's reaction to his vocabulary.  I can use syntax to create some of the shock value that I can't get by not cursing.  And besides, a lot of my work is either faith-based (no cussing necessary there) or fantasy (cussing would be inconsistent with the world anyway).  So this attitude toward profanity serves me pretty well.  And besides my own writing, this stand also allows me to look at profanity in someone else's work without automatically scribbling it out or dismissing the entire piece because it has bad words and therefore must be a bad story or poem.

The down side of my attitude toward profanity: It's going to take me 3-4 more years to finish my degree here, with all of these Creative Writers whose favorite thing to do is fling about the f-bomb inappropriately.  This plants me very firmly in a minority of what could very possibly be one person in the entire Creative Writing department of the University of Iowa.

It's going to be a long 3-4 years.

While we're becoming better, smarter people by exchanging ideas instead of giving this poor, deprived, quazai-student the lectures she so deeply craves, what do you think about profanity in writing?