The Semester from the Underworld

I have a confession to make: I am petrified of this semester!

I "took" a course over the summer.  The theory was that it would give me something to do to make the dark abyss of summer break a little easier to deal with, since I really struggle during breaks.  In doing so, the thought was that I could knock out the one Gen Ed requirement that my Metro degree lacked.  A win-win situation, right?

The only option I had to meet both of these goals was an online class (strike 1) entitled "Women in Islam in the Middle East" (strike 2), consisting of a slew of reading that, whenever I eventually motivated myself to do it, made me ridiculously angry at the injustice towards Islamic women and I'm not even a feminist! (Strike 3.  I'm out.)  The course was so packed and intensive that it came with the option of taking a grade of incomplete and using another semester to finish it.  After my laptop finally died from an injury sustained in my October car crash and I was without computer access for a week and lost all hope of ever catching up to make the summer deadline, I went ahead and gave up and took the alternative route.

This was after I made the decision to go ahead and see if I could handle 2 classes at the same time while working full time.

Meaning I suddenly find myself juggling three classes while working full time.

With this week having been the first week of class, I have already started off on the wrong foot.  There was some hard-core crazy drama that went down this week that is now resolved, but was incredibly stressful, and me being "assertive" really feels more like being a jerk.  Then there was meeting half a jazillion new people which happens at the beginning of any new school year.  I had to talk in front of both of my new classes.  I'm still dealing with the bank to replace my debit card from when my wallet was stolen two weeks ago.  I got a call from Biolife saying that my protein test came back low and I have to go in to be retested and can't donate for at least two weeks.  There are some changes going down at my campus ministry that are great and wonderful and awesome changes, but are also kind of scary for this introvert whose comfort zone has already been obliterated in every other aspect of her life this week.

And then I have come to the conclusion that undergraduate creative writing students apparently don't actually write, they talk about writing.  Seriously, I've been waiting to take writing classes so I can write and get feedback on my writing and let my writing speak for me and all that jazz.  I've been waiting to experience workshops for literally years!  Now that I'm finally here though, both of my professors are being super gentle about it.  "I know it can be really scary, but I promise this will be a safe and respectful place to share your work.  You won't be graded on the quality of your writing, so long as you put forth good effort."  So I'm in college for creative writing, and my writing won't be taken any more seriously than it did in high school.  Sweet.  Then it turns out, I'm only going to be workshopped a total of three times this semester...

But will be up to my ears in class discussions.

This is not what I had in mind.

It's Labor Day weekend now, and I am currently taking 24 hours to stay home and recover from the beating my poor, introverted self has taken the last two weeks.  This also includes organizing my life and trying to remember how to juggle more than one class at a time... I haven't done that in two years!  When these 24 hours are up and my life is organized, I will go to the grocery store... And then probably return for some more recovery time.  Basically, I am going to have a lot of respect for my poor, battered comfort zone for a couple of days.

Because on Tuesday, I'll go back to work, I'll have class again on Wednesday, and my comfort zone will once again mean absolutely nothing.  Which, you know, I suppose doesn't have to be a bad thing.  You don't learn and grow as a person in your comfort zone.  God doesn't show up in as huge and amazing ways within the confines of your comfort zone.  You can break free of false limits and find your real ones when you leave your comfort zone.  It's just that my comfort zone is... You know, comfy!

I know I have lots of prayer warriors who read this blog, and I really don't thank you guys enough for how much you pray for me!  I don't directly ask for prayer very often, in part because I know you guys always have me covered anyway :)  But this semester, please pray for some rockin' time management skills, that I can juggle everything this semester.  Pray for courage as I face all of these challenges that lie outside of the parameters of my typical personality.  My original goal for this semester was to get better at connecting with people and making friendships that can bring other people closer to God, and while at the moment that's the last thing I really want to focus on, I know that it's still something God can teach me to do even in the midst of a chaotic semester.  And please pray that God shows up in huge and amazing ways this semester, that all of this craziness glorifies Him and brings me closer to Him.  The Lord is my refuge and my strength, an ever present help in trouble.  Even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil.  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Welcome to the Semester from the Underworld.