My name is Gracie Lynn, I'm a two-year-old kitty and I have a story to tell! My new mommy says that everyone has a story to tell, so I figured she wouldn't mind too much if I borrowed her blog: she already thinks it's cute when I sit on her fingers while she's trying to type!
I lived in the humane society for a long time. One family adopted me, but then they changed their mind and brought me back. Feeling abandoned and unwanted, the humane society people did this annoying personality test (as if you can peg the kind of cat a kitty is in five to ten of the first minutes with her in a brand new place), and my timid, shy response led them to label me as a "Secret Admirer," a cat who would stay out of sight a lot until I got to know you. Then they put me in this cage that was clean, but small, and lots of people would come press their faces up to the glass to look at me, ooh and ahh, and then walk away without taking me home.
One day, a woman saw me but didn't stop to ooh and ahh. Instead, she ran and returned with another girl, a tall one with long, yellow hair. That girl smiled at me, her hand up against the glass not pointing, but more as though she wanted to pet me. I got up and rubbed against the glass to show her how badly I wanted to be petted. But then, she ran away! I knew she'd be just like the rest! I thought to myself as I crawled back into my box to sleep. I saw her walk by a couple more times holding a strange black circle in her hand, but I ignored her. I couldn't stand to have my heart broken one more time.
About an hour later, one of the humane society ladies came to get me. "Come here, Grace," she said. That was my name at the time: just Grace. She brought me into a room a lot bigger than my cage, but it was full of people! The first woman who had brought the one with yellow hair was there, two other men, a teenage boy, and another woman, all of them watching me and talking about me! The humane society woman left me in that room full of strangers, and I was so scared! That was more attention than I'd had in a long time, and I wasn't sure if I could deal with it! I kept trying to get through the door, I meowed as loud as I could to try to get the woman to come back, but nothing worked. "Come here, Grace," the girl said, reaching toward me. "My name is Kaycee." Out of options, I decided to go ahead and check out this girl with the long, yellow hair, who had now moved down to the floor to see me.
She took me in her lap and petted me, and as I started to fall asleep after such a long day, she started calling me "Gracie Lynn."
The woman came back in and talked to this crowd of people. She must have said something bad, because Kaycee looked up at the older man with wide eyes. They came to a conclusion, but I could tell that she was upset. I sat with the other girl while the one with long hair wrote on a clip board, then Kaycee took me back. Everyone else got up and left, but she was hesitant as I continued to nod off in her lap. "I don't want to leave you!" she kept saying.
She finally did though. For whatever reason, she left me there. But something told me that she loved me anyway.
The next day, the humane society people gave me a bath with some smelly, blue shampoo. Then I caught a cold, probably from being so wet! But after a few days, I was feeling much better. Then that older man came back! They put me in a box and the man took me home! On the way, he had this black device that he held up to the box, and I could hear Kaycee's voice. "Hi, Gracie Lynn!" she said. I stopped meowing and looked at the box, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. "It's okay, Gracie Lynn, I'll see you soon!" she promised.
The man took me into this room where I would be safe from the dogs that roamed the rest of the house. I could still hear them walking on the hard wood floor outside the door, see their noses as they sniffed under the door looking for my scent. I spent a lot of time under the recliner in the room until the people in the house finally took it out. I don't think they appreciated me sharpening my claws on it. I'm still not sure what else you would use such a thing for besides for a hiding place and scratching post.
The first girl who had found me visited me one evening and brought in a laptop. It had a strange, moving picture on it that kind of reminded me of Kaycee, and I could hear her voice coming out of it. I didn't understand how the girl could fit into these strange devices. "Hey there, Gracie Lynn!" she said as if she could see me. "Aww, I miss you, Baby!"
The family visited me often in that room over the next couple of days, and I started to warm up to them. They seemed to like me, and I could only hope that they wouldn't change their minds and take me back.
Then and elderly couple came, and they put me in a wire cat carrier. I could see a lot more out of the cat carrier than I could the box, and they put my special blanket from the humane society in it. At first, I was afraid that this was the day they would take me back, but we were in the car for a much longer time than we had been leaving the humane society. I was starting to wonder if I would ever get out!
Finally, we arrived at this tiny little building. The couple brought me inside where I was greeted excitedly by none other than Kaycee! She was there, and not just in a strange, electronic device again!
She keeps calling me Gracie Lynn. I like my new name, it sounds pretty. Kaycee says that she wanted to give me her name now that she's adopted me, but that her last name sounds funny and "hopefully" won't be the same for the rest of my life. So she gave me her middle name instead. I've been exploring my new home, and besides the sticky bug trap that I got my paw stuck in (I was so scared until Kaycee gently pulled it free, and then I had to lick all of the sticky out of my fur!) it's a pretty cool place! I'm happy to finally have a place I think I can call "home."
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
A Mother's Conundrum
I am the proud mother of a novel going through some intensive editing, a WIP that's being a little stubborn but I'm sure will grow out of it... And an evil stepchild of a NaNoWriMo idea that I'm trying to relinquish custody of so I can have a better one.
For those of you who may not know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. It takes place from November 1 to November 30, and the goal is to write a novel at least 50,000 words long (we're talking 1,667 words every day for an entire month! It's intense!). You're allowed to prewrite the crap out of your story, but you can't write a word of the actual novel until November 1.
It was a decent idea that I was trying to work with, but I'm just not feeling it. It was kind of forced from the start, and it's just too close to nonfiction for my liking at the moment. Not to mention that my original inspiration grew out of the developmental phase that inspired the idea in the first place (sidenote: I still love my new job!). But at the moment, I'm working with my two other paper-and-ink children, I can't just abandon them, push them away and tell them to wait! You know uncompleted novels, they just don't understand!
But at the same time, November is just a few short weeks away, and if I can get a workable idea going on, I think I have a shot at it this year!
*head, desk*
So, I'm off to sift through some old notebooks and documents coated in technological dust deep in the back files of my hard drive, do several more writing prompts, and hope to have something I can work with soon!
For those of you who may not know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. It takes place from November 1 to November 30, and the goal is to write a novel at least 50,000 words long (we're talking 1,667 words every day for an entire month! It's intense!). You're allowed to prewrite the crap out of your story, but you can't write a word of the actual novel until November 1.
It was a decent idea that I was trying to work with, but I'm just not feeling it. It was kind of forced from the start, and it's just too close to nonfiction for my liking at the moment. Not to mention that my original inspiration grew out of the developmental phase that inspired the idea in the first place (sidenote: I still love my new job!). But at the moment, I'm working with my two other paper-and-ink children, I can't just abandon them, push them away and tell them to wait! You know uncompleted novels, they just don't understand!
But at the same time, November is just a few short weeks away, and if I can get a workable idea going on, I think I have a shot at it this year!
*head, desk*
So, I'm off to sift through some old notebooks and documents coated in technological dust deep in the back files of my hard drive, do several more writing prompts, and hope to have something I can work with soon!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Where God Guides, He Provides!
My days of unemployment are OVER!!! Praise Jesus!!! I've been in free fall for about a week, but I knew God would catch me!
I had an interview at a place called Apple Tree Children's Center one day, and it went well, but not quite phenomenal. I was given a quick tour of the place, and it seemed just a tad chaotic, smelling strongly of clorox trying valiently to cover up dirty diaper... and failing. I was told that they would be doing interviews all week before making a decision, and my first thought was: "Shoot, competition. I'm SOOOO not getting this job!" I came out of that interview and returned a phone call, and BAM! I had an interview the next day with [company name removed in the interest of not getting sued after reading scary official stuff about confidentiality in employee handbook]!
That interview went even better! It was a tad nerve wracking at first: it was a small office with a desk on either side and a chair in the middle. There was a manager at each desk and me in the chair, and both of them asked questions at the same time. That chair totally felt like a hot seat! All of this in addition to the fact that they asked me to bring a copy of my degree with me... you know, Associate's in Liberal arts? The one that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with early childhood education? Yeah, that one. A friend told me that that's pretty standard when the degree has nothing to do with the job, which made me feel a little less foolish about it, but still underqualified. But the two were best friends, "work wives," they called it, and since the interview was all about me, I was invited and welcomed into the whole thing until it felt more like a conversation than an interview, and I was almost sad when it was over. They were thoroughly impressed, and they promised to call that afternoon for a second interview this morning.
I went in this morning, and this interview was more like a chance to see how I do with the children and see if I'd be better in the infant room or the toddler room. It was supposed to be a half hour in each room, but they were having a crazy day with tours and a surprise visit from a Higher Up from Chicago, so I was only in the infant room for about fifteen adorable but slightly awkward minutes (the teachers in there were pretty obsorbed in taking care of the dozen babies all over the room), then I ended up being with the toddlers for over an hour. That was the most fun I've had in a long time! I got to know the names of about half of the class and I helped coral toddlers from here to there. I was on the floor with them, replacing shoes ("Everybody needs TWO SHOES!" I said about ten times, tapping the little ones' toes), reading to them, talking about pictures, clapping with them when they fit the blocks together right, and trying to keep them relatively contained as they waited to go outside while one of the teachers counted them.
Then we went outside. There was one little girl who was brand new to the school, and she was used to that time of day being nap time, not play time. So I got to hold this adorable little girl in a pretty yellow dress as she snoozed in my arms. In the interests of the upcoming afternoon naptime, one of the teachers finally came and woke her up to try to get her to play for a little bit. Shortly after that, I had another little girl snuggling with me in my arms. It was later explained to me that she's in a not-so-good home situation. When one of the managers finally came out to get me, she was shocked to find this little girl locked onto my hip, refusing to let go!
I was offered a job on the spot, and I automatically said yes! So allow me to introduce myself: My name is Kaycee, I'm a toddler teacher at [a top secret company that I apparently cannot name in a blog for fear of financial ruin], and I haven't started work yet, but I'm already in love with my class! To celebrate, I went and put some gas in my car and went to Starbucks for a Strawberry Smoothie, because there are actually some paychecks on the horizon!
I had an interview at a place called Apple Tree Children's Center one day, and it went well, but not quite phenomenal. I was given a quick tour of the place, and it seemed just a tad chaotic, smelling strongly of clorox trying valiently to cover up dirty diaper... and failing. I was told that they would be doing interviews all week before making a decision, and my first thought was: "Shoot, competition. I'm SOOOO not getting this job!" I came out of that interview and returned a phone call, and BAM! I had an interview the next day with [company name removed in the interest of not getting sued after reading scary official stuff about confidentiality in employee handbook]!
That interview went even better! It was a tad nerve wracking at first: it was a small office with a desk on either side and a chair in the middle. There was a manager at each desk and me in the chair, and both of them asked questions at the same time. That chair totally felt like a hot seat! All of this in addition to the fact that they asked me to bring a copy of my degree with me... you know, Associate's in Liberal arts? The one that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with early childhood education? Yeah, that one. A friend told me that that's pretty standard when the degree has nothing to do with the job, which made me feel a little less foolish about it, but still underqualified. But the two were best friends, "work wives," they called it, and since the interview was all about me, I was invited and welcomed into the whole thing until it felt more like a conversation than an interview, and I was almost sad when it was over. They were thoroughly impressed, and they promised to call that afternoon for a second interview this morning.
I went in this morning, and this interview was more like a chance to see how I do with the children and see if I'd be better in the infant room or the toddler room. It was supposed to be a half hour in each room, but they were having a crazy day with tours and a surprise visit from a Higher Up from Chicago, so I was only in the infant room for about fifteen adorable but slightly awkward minutes (the teachers in there were pretty obsorbed in taking care of the dozen babies all over the room), then I ended up being with the toddlers for over an hour. That was the most fun I've had in a long time! I got to know the names of about half of the class and I helped coral toddlers from here to there. I was on the floor with them, replacing shoes ("Everybody needs TWO SHOES!" I said about ten times, tapping the little ones' toes), reading to them, talking about pictures, clapping with them when they fit the blocks together right, and trying to keep them relatively contained as they waited to go outside while one of the teachers counted them.
Then we went outside. There was one little girl who was brand new to the school, and she was used to that time of day being nap time, not play time. So I got to hold this adorable little girl in a pretty yellow dress as she snoozed in my arms. In the interests of the upcoming afternoon naptime, one of the teachers finally came and woke her up to try to get her to play for a little bit. Shortly after that, I had another little girl snuggling with me in my arms. It was later explained to me that she's in a not-so-good home situation. When one of the managers finally came out to get me, she was shocked to find this little girl locked onto my hip, refusing to let go!
I was offered a job on the spot, and I automatically said yes! So allow me to introduce myself: My name is Kaycee, I'm a toddler teacher at [a top secret company that I apparently cannot name in a blog for fear of financial ruin], and I haven't started work yet, but I'm already in love with my class! To celebrate, I went and put some gas in my car and went to Starbucks for a Strawberry Smoothie, because there are actually some paychecks on the horizon!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Settling In and Making Observations
I filled out a job application today right before I went into an interview. It asked for my current address and my previous address, then for any other addresses that I have lived in the past five years. I was very happy that I officially have my new address memorized! Then it asked how long I've lived there. "4 days," I answered. I put in the address for my parents' house in Nebraska. It asked how long I lived there. "15 years," I answered. The recruiter looked over my application and she said, "So, what brings you to Coralville? It looks like you've been in Nebraska for most of your life!"
Let me tell you about our apartment! It's all hard-wood floor--buckling in places and not totally flat. Except for the bathroom, which has actually a pretty nice linoleum floor, and the corner of the kitchen behind the trash can and stove, where there is about a square foot of space that is peeling black and white checkered linoleum. There are archway type things from the kitchen to the dining room and then from the dining room to the living room. These archways are not straight. The doors aren't quite aligned correctly, all but one of them has some kind of fascinating, quirky problem. And my favorite window in the apartment is the one at the end of the living room... that sits at almost a 45 degree angle. I love the place! It's got character and personality and attitude! (Daddy calls it a dump... He missed the potential!)
But moving in has been going smoothly. The little apartment is starting to feel a little bit more like home, after learning its various quirks and how to deal with them, and some much needed deep cleaning. My rubber gloves and I have become very close friends! My roommate and I are slowly putting everything in its place and finding places for everything, adding our own colors and personal touches to the place, and it's looking pretty good, all things considered! Still waiting on Internet, so I may be blogging and facebooking from Starbucks for a while.
Driving around here is fascinating. There is no shame in tail gating or cutting people off, but I've been warned that cops around here will write tickets for going 1 mph over the speed limit. And parking? Holy cow! I'm hoping that with time I'll learn where I can park, where I can't, and perhaps I'll find a few places where it's free. And you have to check the meters before you start feeding them... Some of them have a 1 hour limit, and if you give it more than that without realizing the limit, it eats your money and won't give it back, but will still expire in one hour. And driving through campus is a nightmare! And seriously, anybody who complains about motorcyclists has never experienced moped drivers in Iowa City. One of them almost took off my driver's side mirror this morning!
On the job front, I had an interview this morning (as mentioned above) that went pretty well, and another tomorrow. I'm desperately hoping to be working by the end of next week, I don't like this unemployment business! I'd rather know when my next paycheck is coming, and while the time off of work has been kinda fun, it isn't quite worth the uncertainty. But where God leads, He provides, so I'm trying to not worry too horribly much about it. Trying. Really hard. *whimper*
I've got a few places to go meet people, I have several names and faces now, so perhaps this "new friend" gig will start progressing soon, too! Church was hard on Sunday, simply because it wasn't MY church. It wasn't home. I missed MY church family. But I really think that the church I visited has the potential to be my new church family
One step at a time, things are moving forward and looking up. Every day feels like a step in the right direction!
Let me tell you about our apartment! It's all hard-wood floor--buckling in places and not totally flat. Except for the bathroom, which has actually a pretty nice linoleum floor, and the corner of the kitchen behind the trash can and stove, where there is about a square foot of space that is peeling black and white checkered linoleum. There are archway type things from the kitchen to the dining room and then from the dining room to the living room. These archways are not straight. The doors aren't quite aligned correctly, all but one of them has some kind of fascinating, quirky problem. And my favorite window in the apartment is the one at the end of the living room... that sits at almost a 45 degree angle. I love the place! It's got character and personality and attitude! (Daddy calls it a dump... He missed the potential!)
But moving in has been going smoothly. The little apartment is starting to feel a little bit more like home, after learning its various quirks and how to deal with them, and some much needed deep cleaning. My rubber gloves and I have become very close friends! My roommate and I are slowly putting everything in its place and finding places for everything, adding our own colors and personal touches to the place, and it's looking pretty good, all things considered! Still waiting on Internet, so I may be blogging and facebooking from Starbucks for a while.
Driving around here is fascinating. There is no shame in tail gating or cutting people off, but I've been warned that cops around here will write tickets for going 1 mph over the speed limit. And parking? Holy cow! I'm hoping that with time I'll learn where I can park, where I can't, and perhaps I'll find a few places where it's free. And you have to check the meters before you start feeding them... Some of them have a 1 hour limit, and if you give it more than that without realizing the limit, it eats your money and won't give it back, but will still expire in one hour. And driving through campus is a nightmare! And seriously, anybody who complains about motorcyclists has never experienced moped drivers in Iowa City. One of them almost took off my driver's side mirror this morning!
On the job front, I had an interview this morning (as mentioned above) that went pretty well, and another tomorrow. I'm desperately hoping to be working by the end of next week, I don't like this unemployment business! I'd rather know when my next paycheck is coming, and while the time off of work has been kinda fun, it isn't quite worth the uncertainty. But where God leads, He provides, so I'm trying to not worry too horribly much about it. Trying. Really hard. *whimper*
I've got a few places to go meet people, I have several names and faces now, so perhaps this "new friend" gig will start progressing soon, too! Church was hard on Sunday, simply because it wasn't MY church. It wasn't home. I missed MY church family. But I really think that the church I visited has the potential to be my new church family
One step at a time, things are moving forward and looking up. Every day feels like a step in the right direction!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Changes
So the plan was to go to the University of Iowa, get an English degree from the most amazing schools for English majors in the country, meet my future husband, and live happily ever after. It was a great plan.
The best way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans.
Turns out, there is no reciprocity between Iowa and Nebraska as far as tuition goes, and no mercy for the little college girl with big dreams that her parents can't afford. I was $17,600 short for the year and couldn't get a loan--yes, I was willing to go into that kind of debt for this kind of school! I came to this realization last Friday morning, and as if to confirm the impossibility of life at that moment, my car, my Ford Tauris named Arwen who has served me so faithfully for four and a half years, clicked and grinded and breathed her last that afternoon. And thus, for the first time since Kindergarden, I shall be taking a year off of school. I am devistated. I know, I'm wierd. But I'm okay with that.
But I'll be doing something else for the first time since Kindergarden: moving. With or without school, I'm still moving to Iowa, where I shall be living in an apartment for the first time in my life, out on my own for the first time in my life, and working full time for the first time in my life (eww!). However, without classes, I'll have the time to read and write on a scale that I have never been able to achieve before. (I'm working really hard to focus on the bright side right now!) And hey, after finding a new church (since I'm leaving my old one behind in Nebraska... *sob* does a church fit in the trunk of a Cavelier?), the Future Husband plan isn't totally out of the question, right?
I'm stepping into a whole new world... and no, not just because it's Iowa, but that is a pretty large factor. And I have NO CLUE what I'm doing. It's new and it's scary and it's not what I wanted, but you know what? God know's what He's doing. Even though it sure as heck doesn't look like it now. Sometimes I swear he suddenly got really busy and forgot that he was supposed to get me through college, but I know that that's not the kind of God I serve. He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Christ came that I may have life, and have it to the fullest. And while that's tough to believe as I face full time employment and no school (since when is 40 hours a week to pay the bills "life to the fullest"?), it's something God promised me. Looking back at where I've been, it's the times that I leaned on nothing but belief in Him that I was best off. Every time I tried to trust something else, it only got me in trouble.
So God, I sure hope You know what You're doing! I trust You. Move in a way that I've never seen before!
The best way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans.
Turns out, there is no reciprocity between Iowa and Nebraska as far as tuition goes, and no mercy for the little college girl with big dreams that her parents can't afford. I was $17,600 short for the year and couldn't get a loan--yes, I was willing to go into that kind of debt for this kind of school! I came to this realization last Friday morning, and as if to confirm the impossibility of life at that moment, my car, my Ford Tauris named Arwen who has served me so faithfully for four and a half years, clicked and grinded and breathed her last that afternoon. And thus, for the first time since Kindergarden, I shall be taking a year off of school. I am devistated. I know, I'm wierd. But I'm okay with that.
But I'll be doing something else for the first time since Kindergarden: moving. With or without school, I'm still moving to Iowa, where I shall be living in an apartment for the first time in my life, out on my own for the first time in my life, and working full time for the first time in my life (eww!). However, without classes, I'll have the time to read and write on a scale that I have never been able to achieve before. (I'm working really hard to focus on the bright side right now!) And hey, after finding a new church (since I'm leaving my old one behind in Nebraska... *sob* does a church fit in the trunk of a Cavelier?), the Future Husband plan isn't totally out of the question, right?
I'm stepping into a whole new world... and no, not just because it's Iowa, but that is a pretty large factor. And I have NO CLUE what I'm doing. It's new and it's scary and it's not what I wanted, but you know what? God know's what He's doing. Even though it sure as heck doesn't look like it now. Sometimes I swear he suddenly got really busy and forgot that he was supposed to get me through college, but I know that that's not the kind of God I serve. He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Christ came that I may have life, and have it to the fullest. And while that's tough to believe as I face full time employment and no school (since when is 40 hours a week to pay the bills "life to the fullest"?), it's something God promised me. Looking back at where I've been, it's the times that I leaned on nothing but belief in Him that I was best off. Every time I tried to trust something else, it only got me in trouble.
So God, I sure hope You know what You're doing! I trust You. Move in a way that I've never seen before!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Mixed Messages
The Bible tells us that we are Christ's ambassadors to the world (2 Corinthians 5:20), that we are His witnesses (Acts 1:8). Everything that we do should be for His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31).
If you know me at all, then you've heard me complain about my job. I'm a telephone interviewer, I do follow-up surveys for banks. It's a 3-4 minute survey about how the teller/employee treated you on your recent visit, and no matter how dorky some of the questions sound, a bunch of scientists worked really hard to create that survey and the bank is paying my company millions upon millions of dollars for me to ask them. I'm not selling anything at all, and I don't have access to your personal or account information.
However, I'm a faceless person on the phone, and since time is so precious to so many people, I don't even correct people when they think my name is Tracy or Kailey or even Terry instead of Kaycee, so I'm even a nameless person sometimes. I'm a voice at the other end of the phone, and after a long day of facing this stupid world, I'm a bright red emotional punching bag. I get people's sob stories, frustration, and anger hurled at me all night long at work.
My work-friend who sits behind me struggles with this as much as I do, and one time decided to do a little research of his own. He wrote down the numbers for the answering machines that had greetings like "Praise the Lord" and "God Bless" and such in them to try calling them back later instead of just tossing them back into the system for somebody else to try. You know what he found? When he called back and they answered, they were among the nastiest people he spoke to. He's disillusioned toward Christianity because he very rarely sees/hears Christians treat other people with dignity or respect, let alone love.
We are ambassadors and witnesses for Christ, and if EVERYTHING we do is to be for the glory of God. Why aren't we aware of the responsibility that we have? I may be just a faceless voice, I may be asking some boring and slightly redundant questions without a whole lot of emotion (if I get too excited, I get a call tag for "leading the respondent," I dislike speaking with that flat of a tone just as much if not more than you dislike hearing it), and maybe it has been a long day for you, but what if I'm not a believer? What if God sent your number to my terminal because he wanted to use you in my life? What if you blew that chance because you had a hard day at the office and I just didn't mean that much to you because you aren't looking me in the eye?
The cashier at the grocery store with unbearably long lines, the customer service employee for the company you're mad at, the new teller at the bank that you don't know or who made a mistake, the person who calls in the middle of your dinner (my apologies for not committing to memory the dinner schedules of every household in the country), all of those employees that you come in contact with are people whose souls are at stake. How are you representing Christ to those people? Not that you have to preach a salvation sermon to every single person you come in contact with (if you're called to do that, then more power to ya!), but the way you address people, the tone you use, the manner in which you carry yourself, all of it says something about the God you are representing. When you lash out at a faceless person or someone whose only place in your life is to provide some service because it's their job, you are either telling a lost person that God isn't the answer because a life for Christ is all talk but no love, or you are telling a saved person that they are just as alone as they feel half the time.
We serve a God who sent His Son to suffer death for us so we could be holy and blameless in His sight and be free from sin to openly have a personal relationship with Him. After we are saved, we are left here on this earth to be a statement, to be a testimony to God's immense, immeasurable love for us and for the rest of humanity. Is that the message that you're sending, or are you just another angry consumer?
If you know me at all, then you've heard me complain about my job. I'm a telephone interviewer, I do follow-up surveys for banks. It's a 3-4 minute survey about how the teller/employee treated you on your recent visit, and no matter how dorky some of the questions sound, a bunch of scientists worked really hard to create that survey and the bank is paying my company millions upon millions of dollars for me to ask them. I'm not selling anything at all, and I don't have access to your personal or account information.
However, I'm a faceless person on the phone, and since time is so precious to so many people, I don't even correct people when they think my name is Tracy or Kailey or even Terry instead of Kaycee, so I'm even a nameless person sometimes. I'm a voice at the other end of the phone, and after a long day of facing this stupid world, I'm a bright red emotional punching bag. I get people's sob stories, frustration, and anger hurled at me all night long at work.
My work-friend who sits behind me struggles with this as much as I do, and one time decided to do a little research of his own. He wrote down the numbers for the answering machines that had greetings like "Praise the Lord" and "God Bless" and such in them to try calling them back later instead of just tossing them back into the system for somebody else to try. You know what he found? When he called back and they answered, they were among the nastiest people he spoke to. He's disillusioned toward Christianity because he very rarely sees/hears Christians treat other people with dignity or respect, let alone love.
We are ambassadors and witnesses for Christ, and if EVERYTHING we do is to be for the glory of God. Why aren't we aware of the responsibility that we have? I may be just a faceless voice, I may be asking some boring and slightly redundant questions without a whole lot of emotion (if I get too excited, I get a call tag for "leading the respondent," I dislike speaking with that flat of a tone just as much if not more than you dislike hearing it), and maybe it has been a long day for you, but what if I'm not a believer? What if God sent your number to my terminal because he wanted to use you in my life? What if you blew that chance because you had a hard day at the office and I just didn't mean that much to you because you aren't looking me in the eye?
The cashier at the grocery store with unbearably long lines, the customer service employee for the company you're mad at, the new teller at the bank that you don't know or who made a mistake, the person who calls in the middle of your dinner (my apologies for not committing to memory the dinner schedules of every household in the country), all of those employees that you come in contact with are people whose souls are at stake. How are you representing Christ to those people? Not that you have to preach a salvation sermon to every single person you come in contact with (if you're called to do that, then more power to ya!), but the way you address people, the tone you use, the manner in which you carry yourself, all of it says something about the God you are representing. When you lash out at a faceless person or someone whose only place in your life is to provide some service because it's their job, you are either telling a lost person that God isn't the answer because a life for Christ is all talk but no love, or you are telling a saved person that they are just as alone as they feel half the time.
We serve a God who sent His Son to suffer death for us so we could be holy and blameless in His sight and be free from sin to openly have a personal relationship with Him. After we are saved, we are left here on this earth to be a statement, to be a testimony to God's immense, immeasurable love for us and for the rest of humanity. Is that the message that you're sending, or are you just another angry consumer?
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Jesus Pins at Wal Mart
At least half of my trips to Wal Mart have some component of emotional turmoil. If I'm angry after a long night at work, I go to Wal Mart. If I'm lonely, I go to Wal Mart. If I've tried on five outfits and don't like how I look in any of them, I go to Wal Mart. Any time I'm stressed out, depressed, or overwhelmed, I end up wandering the one place that has clothes, shoes, books, movies, art supplies, and chocolate all at the same time.
After wandering aimlessly for up to two hours (yes, there are easily two hours worth of things to look at in Wal Mart) and about twenty bucks later, it's time to check out. This usually occurs after a substantial amount of stalling. These Wal Mart trips are spent with my eyes down and taking detours that keep to the empty aisles, so the cashier is the only person that I have to face on these escapades.
Some of the cashiers at Wal Mart have lanyards that they use to display various pins. One in particular features a popular image of Christ with the words "Turn On the Light." I still have yet to find a male cashier wearing one of these pins, but the topic of male leadership in the modern church is for another blog post.
I've come to the conclusion that God uses these pins for me the same way a close friend uses hugs, but it's not the pins themselves. The women who wear these pins are almost always beaming with a bright and genuine joy, and they take an obvious interest in every single customer that passes through their lane. Their greeting isn't a muttered "Hi, how are you today?" because that's what they're supposed to say, but rather they really want to know how I am because they are interested in me as a person. They are willing to strike up conversation. They look at me like I'm a person with a life and a soul instead of a customer who needs to fork over x amount of money and get out of the store. Every single time that I walk out of Wal Mart after checking out with one of these women, my head is held higher, my eyes are up, and I can genuinely smile at the greeter on my way out.
I finally commented on the pin a while back while I was grabbing poster board for my Cubbie class. I had entered the store slightly frazzled, trying to make it from work to Cubbies on time while attempting to put aside the distracting thoughts of how alone I was in so many things. This particular cashier's smile got even wider. "I take it you know Him, then?" she asked excitedly. By the time I left, my eyes were up and I was reminded that I wasn't alone.
So this blog post is to the women at Wal Mart who refuse to hide their faith and insist on showing love to even the quiet college student who passes through their aisle. What if we all could show that kind of love to the strangers we encounter?
After wandering aimlessly for up to two hours (yes, there are easily two hours worth of things to look at in Wal Mart) and about twenty bucks later, it's time to check out. This usually occurs after a substantial amount of stalling. These Wal Mart trips are spent with my eyes down and taking detours that keep to the empty aisles, so the cashier is the only person that I have to face on these escapades.
Some of the cashiers at Wal Mart have lanyards that they use to display various pins. One in particular features a popular image of Christ with the words "Turn On the Light." I still have yet to find a male cashier wearing one of these pins, but the topic of male leadership in the modern church is for another blog post.
I've come to the conclusion that God uses these pins for me the same way a close friend uses hugs, but it's not the pins themselves. The women who wear these pins are almost always beaming with a bright and genuine joy, and they take an obvious interest in every single customer that passes through their lane. Their greeting isn't a muttered "Hi, how are you today?" because that's what they're supposed to say, but rather they really want to know how I am because they are interested in me as a person. They are willing to strike up conversation. They look at me like I'm a person with a life and a soul instead of a customer who needs to fork over x amount of money and get out of the store. Every single time that I walk out of Wal Mart after checking out with one of these women, my head is held higher, my eyes are up, and I can genuinely smile at the greeter on my way out.
I finally commented on the pin a while back while I was grabbing poster board for my Cubbie class. I had entered the store slightly frazzled, trying to make it from work to Cubbies on time while attempting to put aside the distracting thoughts of how alone I was in so many things. This particular cashier's smile got even wider. "I take it you know Him, then?" she asked excitedly. By the time I left, my eyes were up and I was reminded that I wasn't alone.
So this blog post is to the women at Wal Mart who refuse to hide their faith and insist on showing love to even the quiet college student who passes through their aisle. What if we all could show that kind of love to the strangers we encounter?
~ * ~
I've been talking a lot about identity in the past couple posts. Just in case some of you missed the memo, I have taken my ramblings on that topic and actually organized them and started up a separate blog. There was just so much to learn and too much to share that I wanted somewhere more focused to put it all. If you're interested, feel free to check it out here!!! You haven't missed much yet, and I'd be excited if you'd like to join me on my journey!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Learning with my Cubbies
It really amazes me sometimes how much God can use my Cubbie class to teach me. When I first volunteered to teach the group of preschoolers at my church last year, I imagined that it would be more of a structured baby-sitting session with Bible stories in the hopes that the kids would remember something here and there to really learn what it means when they got older. Well, I learned last year that I was horribly mistaken. These kids could remember not only the stories, and not only could they regurgitate the verses back to us at the end of the night, but they remembered those verses. This year, there are six Cubbies in my class, and two of them have accepted Christ into their hearts this year! Praise Jesus!
But that's not all that I was wrong about when I took on this job. I assumed that I'd be chasing kids around and reading Bible stories that I've known since I was their age, and that would be the end of it. Well, when I broke up with my boyfriend and started seeing my counselor again, one of the first things we talked about was how I don't want to marry a bozo, but rather a Boaz. In the book of Ruth in the Bible, it tells the story of a young woman who lost her husband, but left her native land to stay with her mother-in-law to take care of her. In her mother-in-law's land, Ruth quickly became known as a loving woman of strong character. Boaz, a successful man who loved God and was an upstanding man in his community, took note of her. They fell in love and got married, and from that marriage came the line that would later include King David. On Valentines Day this year, I was fighting to keep busy and distract myself from "Singles Awareness Day," as I faced yet another V-Day Invasion alone. I opened up the Cubbie lesson to prepare to teach, and lo and behold, the story I'd be teaching was Ruth and Boaz.
Another thing that several people in my life have been working on (and encouraging me as I work on as well) has been identity. I've been going through all of these things that God thinks of those who follow Him and trying to grasp what all of it means for just me, and this week's Cubbie lesson was about Heaven. So as I tried to wrap my head around who I am in Christ and what God thinks of me, I was coloring a poster about Heaven with my Cubbies. "What do you think will be in Heaven?" Most of them got pretty excited about beautiful flowers and butterflies, green grass, blue sky, mountains, God and Jesus, and all of the things they thought would be in Heaven, chattering about their drawings so that I would know what the sprawls of color all over the paper were. We talked about how the only way to get to Heaven is through Jesus, because everybody sins, but Jesus died to pay for that sin so that we can spend forever in Heaven with God. The Bible verse was John 14:2: I go to prepare a place for you.
Jesus died for my disrespect, for my vandalism of God's temple, for my carelessness in my romantic relationship, for my apathy, for my disbelief, for my idolatry. Jesus gave His life to pay for all of that because He loved me. And right now, He's in Heaven where the grass is green and the sky is blue and there are flowers and butterflies and mountains, and He's preparing a special place in the house of God just for me.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Identity
I've been thinking a lot about identity lately. There's a lot to think about there. Who am I? Who is anyone? What makes me different from anyone? You know the saying, "You are unique, just like everyone else." Which side of that contradictory statement triumphs: you are unique, or you are just like everyone else? I refuse to believe that I'm just like everyone else, so then how am I unique? How do you judge who you are? If who you are is not based upon what you do or how you look, then what is it based off of? What you like? What you achieve? What you believe? How much you confuse people with deep questions in a single blog post?
I have an identity in Christ. I'm the daughter of the King of Kings, who created me, has a plan for my life, and loves me so much that He died for me so that I can spend eternity with Him. That's a huge part of my identity, because it's my existence. It's how I was created, what I was created for. But the part that I struggle with is that identity belongs to every single person who has trusted Christ as their Savior and follows Him. That goes for the "just like everyone else" side.
So I went to a girls' night with a couple of ladies from my church, and it turns out I'm definitely not the only one who has been thinking about identity. I mentioned this conflict that I've been having, and one of them commented that God created me with an artistic talent (personally I think I have more passion than talent, but warm fuzzies are always good!), and I use that to His glory, and that is part of my identity.
What if our identity then is what we focus our lives upon? Then who we are isn't what we do necessarily, it's not completely what we accomplish, and it's only what we look like if that's where our focus is. I focus my life on Christ (or try to at least), so part of my identity is the personal relationship that I have with Him as my Savior, my Lord, my Abba. I focus on my writing, so Kaycee the Writer is part of my identity. I focus on school, so Kaycee the Student (who is fixing to graduate with her Associates in Liberal Arts so that she can move on to the University of Iowa! Can I hear a woot woot?) is part of my identity.
I like this answer the best. Because that way, it's not what I do that is who I am. My identity doesn't change if I slip up against God or if I can't get published or if I get a B on a test. But it's not just the things that apply to everyone, either. The "You are unique" side triumphs with this answer. Trust me, I'm unique. There is definitely nobody else out there like me, which is probably a good thing. I'm not just like everybody else. I have my own identity that makes me special, that makes me different from everybody else. What's your identity?
I have an identity in Christ. I'm the daughter of the King of Kings, who created me, has a plan for my life, and loves me so much that He died for me so that I can spend eternity with Him. That's a huge part of my identity, because it's my existence. It's how I was created, what I was created for. But the part that I struggle with is that identity belongs to every single person who has trusted Christ as their Savior and follows Him. That goes for the "just like everyone else" side.
So I went to a girls' night with a couple of ladies from my church, and it turns out I'm definitely not the only one who has been thinking about identity. I mentioned this conflict that I've been having, and one of them commented that God created me with an artistic talent (personally I think I have more passion than talent, but warm fuzzies are always good!), and I use that to His glory, and that is part of my identity.
What if our identity then is what we focus our lives upon? Then who we are isn't what we do necessarily, it's not completely what we accomplish, and it's only what we look like if that's where our focus is. I focus my life on Christ (or try to at least), so part of my identity is the personal relationship that I have with Him as my Savior, my Lord, my Abba. I focus on my writing, so Kaycee the Writer is part of my identity. I focus on school, so Kaycee the Student (who is fixing to graduate with her Associates in Liberal Arts so that she can move on to the University of Iowa! Can I hear a woot woot?) is part of my identity.
I like this answer the best. Because that way, it's not what I do that is who I am. My identity doesn't change if I slip up against God or if I can't get published or if I get a B on a test. But it's not just the things that apply to everyone, either. The "You are unique" side triumphs with this answer. Trust me, I'm unique. There is definitely nobody else out there like me, which is probably a good thing. I'm not just like everybody else. I have my own identity that makes me special, that makes me different from everybody else. What's your identity?
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