I Was a Fan of Taylor Swift

I was once an avid Taylor Swift fan.  Primarily because of this song:

http://youtu.be/8xg3vE8Ie_E

But the name Taylor Swift now brings on much different ideas.  She has crated a reputation for being a revolving door as far as boys go, and her musical career makes her a pretty brutal ex-girlfriend.  I remember seeing a clip of her from the Ellen DeGeneres show where Ellen was putting up picture after picture after picture after picture of boys she had dated (to which Taylor was avidly trying to convince Ellen that one of them didn't count... Not that it wouldn't have made THAT big of a difference).  Taylor finally shouted something to the effect of: "Stop it!  This makes me feel like a horrible person!"

I honestly feel sorry for her. My heart breaks for her.  I can relate to several of her "break-up" songs from my experience with one boy.  I can't imagine going through that with as many boys as she has.  Seriously, you know what kind of relationship she started off wanting from her early albums, and for that many relationships to fall short?  For her heart to be broken that many times?  To be that big of an expert on how to break up?  People laugh at her, but I truly do hurt for her.

But yet, this is the image she has created for herself.  And now, she sings songs like this:

http://youtu.be/878KE8iDrh8

I was introduced to Taylor Swift because she was a country artist.  I know, I know, she's not really "country" necessarily, I'm one of those more-pop-than-country "country" fans; to the dismay of my father and older brother, I can only take so much Johnny Cash.  But seriously, Taylor?  What are you doing?  That dress looks like something Lady Gaga would wear!  And the outfit underneath?  Clearly, the money has gotten to you.

But I'm not so sure that it's just the money.

There's a freedom that the innocent have that the experienced don't.  The innocent are free to dream.  The innocent can cling to ideas of how it's supposed to work.  The innocent have a vision of how it was originally designed.

But girls passionately desire the companionship, the love, the feelings of being cherished by a boy that they are torn between trying to play it safe and recklessly going after what they want.  And if they are too reckless, the more bad relationships that they endure break down more and more of that innocence and the dreams, ideas, and visions that come with it.  There's suddenly fear and pain that reign them in from that innocent freedom until it's boy after boy, break up after break up, and when one ends all you have to look forward to is the next boy.  Happily Ever After is suddenly beyond attainable reality.  Sometimes it's gradual, sometimes it's not so much, but if a girl in today's world isn't careful, the path from innocence always leads to a downward spiral of shattered hopes and broken dreams.

Until you're choosing to take off the white dress and dance on stage in black leather and a whole lot of exposed skin singing about boys being trouble instead of laughing with joy because the boy finally earned your daddy's approval and you can go pick out a white dress to marry him in.

I hope that some day, Taylor can remember what she wanted.  Until then, I'll be singing her early songs while I wait to wear a white dress on my wedding day.