A Quiet Art

I would like to take this opportunity to walk you through the carefully refined steps of a modest art form that has been learned and perfected by high schoolers and college students across the nation:

Procrastination.

First, we have the assignment. A paper, project, or list of problems; the intensity, quantity, or form that it takes on makes small difference. But that assignment looms in the consciousness of the student, flashing in brilliant red lights: "Must Be Done, Must Be Done, Must Be Done." In more dreaded or intense instances, the lights are accompanied with a constant droning noise.

For argument's sake, let's call the assignment, oh, how about Psych chapter 11 and 5.4 homework on logarithmic equations?

Well, I hate math, so I'll procrastinate Psych first. Which is perfect, because I do my psych notes on my computer! Like any art, there are many different forms. Dance can be ballet, hip hop, river dance, or ball room. Visual art can be paint, oil pastel, sculpting, or pottery. Music can be flute, guitar, vocal, or piano. Procrastination can be physical, mental, or cyber. Or, for those students who are versatile in their art, all of the above.

So the lights are on, the sound is droning, but you know? It's been a whole entire four hours since I've been on Facebook, something may have happened while I was away!!! Wow, my status is out of date by four hours, better change it! *gasp* So many things to comment on! (ten minutes later) Hmm, no one has commented on my status yet, maybe if I word it this way... You know? I want to level up on FarmTown, so I'm gonna go plant a whole slew o' Raspberries!!! (For those of you who still remain safe from the evils of FarmTown, Raspberries are ready to harvest in two hours as opposed to 4 hour grapes, 1 day potatoes and wheat, 3 day blueberries and pineapples, or 4 day peppers and cotton.) Oh look, someone commented on my status! I should reply. *POP* Why look, someone wants to chat! Sure, I can multi-task, uh-huh!!! Wow, raspberries are ready to harvest already? Hmm, nothing else to do on Facebook, what a shame. *scroll up and down five more times just to make sure* ... *change status to see if anyone wants to comment on this wording of essentially the same thing* ... *comment on twenty more things*

When the Procrastinator finally gets off of Facebook, there is also e-mail, student e-mail, random e-mail accounts that nobody uses anyway, and on particularly intense episodes of procrastination, the MySpace that hasn't been touched in months (which then also burns the time it takes to remember the pass word). Then there's blogging... reading the blogs you follow, looking at extra blogs on the side, writing a blog on your own blog (Hey, maybe you can write a blog about procrastination!)...

You get the picture.

But in the mean time, while procrastinating via the Internet, the lights are still flashing, the sound is still droning, and half of your attention is still held captive by that(those) foreboding assignment(s).

Which is why I shall sign off of the Internet for now... but you know I'll be back later just to see if that status has gotten any more comments. But I really will sign off. And I will appease the flashing lights and droning sound... You know, that NaNoWriMo story it minimized on my task bar, and writing tends to suck in ALL of my attention...

I'm sorry, College Algebra, but I just don't love you that much. And Psych, you know, patience is a virtue. And Final Projects For Both Psych And Info And Systems Lit Classes, before you turn on your lights and sounds for tomorrow... well... I'll deal with you later. I have more procrastinating to do!!!