While I've Been Away

What's this? Kaycee lives? No way!!!! That's right Ladies and Gentlemen, kids of all ages, I didn't die. Please quiet your disappointment-- you know you missed me! So where have I been? Glad you asked!

As probably seeped through some of my most "recent" posts, there was some, uh... dissatisfaction in my life... hence things such as the epic rant on parenting. I won't bore you with all of the details of my dark ages, just rest assured that they were dark, I had nothing positive to say, so I didn't say anything at all.

Well, now I have positive things to say!

I have many positive things to say about God's sovereignty. My spiritual walk got pretty dry and felt really pointless there for a while for long, drawn out reasons that took three pages of journaling just to figure out myself, and would therefore take six to explain, so I won't. Praying was awkward, and I was mad at myself because I knew in my head that God doesn't change, so the change in my relationship with Him was me, and I didn't know how to fix it. So circumstances were grim, and I was completely on my own. Hence the dark ages and the dissappearance of Kaycee from the blogging world.

In a night of hopelssness and frustration, I went out on a limb, lived life on the edge, tried something new... I, uh, *coughcough* kinda sorta, umm... postedaprofileoneharmony. There, I said it. Well, as it turned out, God is sovereign. I've known that in my head all my life... I even learned what the word Sovereign means a few years ago. It's one of those facts that children raised in church have pounded into their heads until they can say the words in their sleep... whether they have any idea what it means or not. Well, now I know what it means. It means that God has a plan, and He knew what He was doing all along. Everything I've ever been through in my life has made me into the person I am today. And everything in my dark ages brought me to that night when I broke down and posted that profile.

Which means that God let me become the person that I am now and brought that person that I am now to eHarmony where I then proceeded to meet my boyfriend.

I had a journal that I had been frustratingly scribbling in through my dark ages until I finally decided that no matter how much journaling I did, life would still suck, so I gave up. I journaled in that notebook again the other day, read over what I wrote, and then flipped back through what I had written before. And I am happy to report that life doesn't suck. Life is full of hope and excitement, and even the parts of life that do suck are all a part of God's soveriegn plan to make me into the woman He wants me to be and to place me in the life that He wants me to lead that will glorify Him.

It's good to be back!