Personal Pact

So I was thinking this evening while taking a shower (don't look at me like that! The shower happens to be an incredibly inspirational place!) about my life, what it is, and what I wish it was. As the scarcity of blog posts may have let on, I've been in a bit of a dark place in my life due to a whole slew of different factors in which I do not care to go into right now, nor do you really want me to, I promise. But I finally arrived at a concrete decision.

The gloves are off. No more little miss sweet and shy. I'm saying good-bye to the long, dark hours of contemplating those factors that no one wishes for me to discuss here and getting lost in bleak and gloomy moods and not enjoying where I am in life but not really seeing anything else. Good-bye. No more. The gloves are off. I'm going to get off my preverbial butt and do something. Okay, a few things. The pact I have made with myself tonight is three-fold.

I'm going to take care of myself. Not that I haven't been taking care of myself... well, as much care as any emotionally-distressed college student working two jobs that only very recently became one (I threw my last paper on Sunday, January 31, 2009, and all the world rejoiced), but I digress. I'm going to eat like a normal, healthy human being: you know, breakfast NOT impulsively purchased from the vending machine, a balanced lunch, and a dinner consisting of a little bit more substance than oreos and/or Ho-Hos. (What? Gallup has a vending machine, not a salad bar!) I'm gonna do a few crunches every day, pull out the weights and actully do my physical therapy stuff for my knee. I'm gonna order more ProActive, and this acne WILL go away. I'm gonna cut my hair... haha, gocha! Just a couple inches, I'm getting sick of sitting on it.

And then I'm going to broaden the horizons of my routine. I'm going to break free from the restraints that have cut out everything but Home, school, and work. I'm gonna read something for fun. I'm gonna write on a regular basis again. I'm gonna get consistent in my daily quiet time with God. I'm gonna start managing my time so I'm not procrastinating homework... quite so bad... I'm gonna finish my poetry scrap book.

Finally, ding dang it, I'm gonna MEET people! I'm gonna figure out what it takes to meet new people! I'm gonna find somewhere to go and I'm gonna talk to strangers and make new friends. Doggonit, I might even come up with some slick line to use when I'm turning down a guy's request for my phone number.

So I'm not creating a brand new and improved Kaycee. I'm bringing the old one back to life. I'm going to make her adjust to what her life has become, and I'm going to teach her how to love it.